LEMONADE

Queen Bey had a different reason for talking about it. And…it was brilliant. I want to talk about my own experience with lemonade this week. We were supposed to vacation in Asheville with some friends from Sat-Tue. They came to a house in the Smoky Mountains and we headed to the airport to go home. As good friends would do, and inspire, the conversation on Sat-Tue was often enough about our extending our stay.

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A non-starter for all the right but responsible/boring reasons (notably. work). Then we got our lemons. We sat at the airport for hours watching our plane get delayed. The ticket counter was urging us to change our flight because though United wasn’t giving us truth, their on the ground staff was telling us this wasn’t going to be good for us. They were right. United sent us an email telling us our flight was bumped out two days to Thursday night which basically…meant we would come back on a dead and unproductive Friday before a holiday weekend. So then we made lemonade.

We got out our surfboards and rode the wave that was coming at us. We pushed the flight to Saturday. And we headed to this house in the Smokys with friends…with some of the people I’ve known best basically since birth. We had to figure it out.

Priya had to work.

I had to work.

And we had two kids who needed love and attention. That’s the lemonade. Friends stepping up to help Priya while I worked all day Wed. No small thing in the mountains. Helping load and unload cars. Literally carrying my (c)hunkster son 3+ miles on a hike while I banged away on a keyboard. Kids playing with my kids and making them smile and laugh.

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https://web.facebook.com/1314738/videos/pcb.10102065918519534/10102065918090394

Occupying them as peers but almost as babysitters. I have been blessed left right and center in so many ways. But this past week, #iamgrateful and #iamthankful for finding my way into the good graces of some truly extraordinarily kind, funny, smart (and freaking accomplished) friends. After 16 hours of travel delays in August alone, I can say every second was worth it for culminating in this.

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The most emblematic photo of the past week is Shashank Sheth carrying Jaan one way on a hike; Mital Sheth did the other way. Tina Dave’ Sodha and Samir Sodha made sure Priya’s car was always loaded and unloaded and that she was following the caravan to the appropriate next destination.

Soniya Babu ShethAmish Barot and Deepa Shah Barot captured Jaan’s love and affection in ways we haven’t seen him do outside of fam. Hina Patel Sheth made sure the kitchen was always humming, and along with everyone in the house, helped moderate the dynamics between three spunky 3-5 year olds who ended up performing How Far I’ll Go for us to kick off a talent show.

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Priya KC Bhatt, Anaiya, Jaan and I couldn’t be luckier. Our friends get more props den stunts den Bruce Willis.

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WHAT ARE YOUR 25’s?

I have about 12-15 minutes everyday where I am solo in the car. I mostly use that time for NPR. I have been crushing NPR since I started driving actually. But the news is all the same these days so I have started diving in on specific songs that I can turn up to 25 in our CRV. Perfect sound level. Because the speakers and my ears can handle it, and because it’s loud enough that I can’t hear myself sing. Which makes me sound great, like I am nailing every note. (Not happening.) What was my 25 today? Arguably my favorite song of all time for all reasons, and also, what Priya and I used for our first dance. #iamgrateful and #iamthankful for The Gap Band. Do you have a 25?

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HOW DO YOU WORK BEST?

Funny. I was just talking to someone I work with about environments, styles, and approaches. I’ve really come to believe in this approach. The best teams I have been a part of are places where people feel ownership of an outcome, feel supported in their pursuit of that outcome, and feel comfortable/safe/secure exploring the right way forward (asking questions, giving feedback, taking risks).

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful for having some amazing bosses, peers, co-workers, and partners in general who have created this environment for me, and who have coached me to embrace this as a framework going forward (implicitly and explicitly). https://hbr.org/…/high-performing-teams-need…

https://hbr.org/2017/08/high-performing-teams-need-psychological-safety-heres-how-to-create-it?utm_campaign=hbr&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&fbclid=IwAR2mdHsG-hmCUkjCN3O9bWOvWOLZVJV62YAjYI8k0lZujJBepByT3DAadxY

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GoT

Long few weeks. But everyone is asleep. And I have a date with GoT (sans my favorite date partner who is still fighting a cold) and a bottle I have been saving for this very specific occasion. Don’t disappoint…show or bottle.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful for the opportunity anyway.

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BE GRATEFUL

Lots to brew, stew, and chew on these days. Find gratitude. What do I know? Who cares? But…trust some neuroscientists. #iamgrateful and #iamthankful for evidence of what works.

https://www.theladders.com/career-advice/ancient-wisdom-reveals-4-rituals-that-will-make-you-happy-2

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THIS

Ignore the title. It’s not what you think. All this. More this. This on top of this. Don’t lurk, listen. #iamgrateful and #iamthankful for this.

https://web.facebook.com/TED/videos/10159197316605652

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HYPE

I try and avoid propaganda. But I love this. I’ve seen a wide range of posts over the past 24 hours. And I feel like even my rightest of right friends have acknowledged this point — we fought a war over this 70+ years ago. We became “America” on the heels of the sides we chose and the fights we fought and the enemy we squashed. (I’m happy to dig into all the nuance of WW2, mind you — I don’t view it romantically nor do I believe it played out romantically, but I certainly celebrate it as such). What I found most heartening today was the voices of people with whom I usually disagree on all things politically, stepping forward and saying … if The Daily Stormer is what invited you to Charlottesville, you had every right to be there … and we have every right to tell you to STFU, because you don’t represent anything American. Anything.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful that I have seen all this up close. Sitting across from me and next to me at lunch while in high school. The fact that I was invited into friends houses where Nazi paraphernalia was on display, flags hung on ceilings … taught me that this isn’t what most and many of these people mean to believe. It’s people in search of belief and meaning. This whole weekend took me back 25 years. Humbled me. We don’t take steps forward. If you look at our footprints, we salsa dance forward and backward. Progressive spirals. The net sum of the past 25 years is progress. But if we were to look at any individual point in time over the course of that 25 years, you’d think twice about betting on what you were going to see — what part of the salsa dance you were going to snapshot. In the end, I hugged my kids like hell this weekend. Like hell. And I know that for all our progress, the same statement applies to my son and daughter … don’t give anyone a chance to question your value, your contribution, or your fortitude. You again? Yes. And again and again and again. Sorry for the ramble folks. I’m twisted. I’ve always wondered what I’d do if I had the chance to go back to high school and start over. This weekend, I made it back to high school. Just not the way I had hoped. Love you all. And I hope every person on this planet finds meaning that doesn’t require zero summing someone else’s value in return. Life ain’t linear. But it can be progressive. Make your commitment to be incremental. In the best way. Be incremental.

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RIP

Fulton Green. I’ve got no words for what’s running through my mind as I heard about your passing away. You were one of the first photos and friends I made at Fuqua. You were one of the last photos I took and hugs I gave as I left the building on graduation day. In-between, you cracked me up. You taught me about Waffle House and all the vernacular required to get those hashbrowns right. And you were the only person to join me at the Waffle House Challenge 3x. Bro. THAT’s a bond for life. We barely knew each other. But you loved Waffle House. And we ended up having an amazing time and laying the foundation for a casual, remote friendship. You were a good dude. Never more clearly evidenced than when a friend of mine came to visit and interview at Fuqua when you and I were in the midst of our first year, and stumbled across you. You invested quite a bit of unnecessary but natural time in showing him around. Jeff Angtuaco ended up joining us the following year and I believe you two kept in touch much better than you and I did after 2010. Hugs to your family.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful to have known you. I can’t think of Fuqua without thinking of you. I won’t ever eat a hashbrown without thinking of you. One thing I try to do is learn something and carry something forward from family and friends who pass away. Changing something fundamental about my day-to-day activities as a person in tribute. I know exactly what I’ll be carrying forward from you, homie. #WarEagle

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20 YEARS AGO

I was boarding the train I am (trying to, but a solid delay is not helping) this morning and I was wrapping up an internship that really set me on my way. Whatever way. This way. At least it is a way. One of my best friend’s ( Sonali K. Raval) older brothers ( Abhi Kamerkar) had squeezed me into an internship at Prudential. Very little based on my own competence but very really based on something that’s served me well ever since: finding some lucky way to be in the presence of smart people willing to take a chance on me. My bosses that summer treated me like gold because of that relationship. They let me dive into work. @cheryl Jones and @robert citro.

From them I got a killer rec that set me to come back to Pru and work for some even greater bosses willing to take bigger risks. Was talking about the honesty of work with some peers at work yesterday. The importance of good bosses. The impact of good or bad bosses. My career has wound me through and sometimes around. Sometimes back. I still actively seek good bosses. I still work at the opportunity to be one. Over the past 20 years I am more dominantly defined by that active pursuit. And that effort is borne of the chances folks have and continue to take on me. Feeling nostalgic. Actively seeking out some of that nostalgic energy on my way into work this am.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful for the delayed NJTransit train this am sparking space for some nostalgia and honest reflection. I also just want…some sleep. 🙂

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DIM SUM

Yo. Best Dim Sum for Friday lunch in NYC. Can’t do Queens or Brooklyn. Sorry. Teach me.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful for the foodies in my life who will make me, my palate, and a friend’s palate happy. Go!

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