Tag Archives: friendship

TMLFYI… | Tito

Tita Fai

Hi Foi,

Tito. Tito. Tito. It’s said more like “teeeeeee, toeeeeee” than like “Jackson” which makes it so much more fun for kids to say. It makes sense, doesn’t it? That you would have such a fun name to say. Because kids love to say your name so much and so often. I know my older sister, Raina Ben, does. I’m still finding my words, but I expect to be able to say it soon too. And my guess is that it’s going to be one of my favorite words when I do.

Happy Birthday Tito Foi. You and I formed a bond very early. I remember when you took two weeks off of work when I was born to stay in the house and stay at home with me and Mommy when Daddy had to go back to work. It’s those little things you do that I’ll always remember.

I love that you sing to me. Music is one of my favorite things. You know that because on your first birthday with me, you took me to music class. I had to get my sense of music from someone, and everyone knows that Daddy is tone deaf. (I love him anyway.)

More than anything, I love to see you happy. Mommy and Daddy always talk about your heart. How it can sometimes get hurt. How it can sometimes feel pain. But how it always overflows. You have so much love to give, and that excites the heck out of me. Mostly because I know I’m going to be spoiled.

Totally ok with that, by the way.

Today’s your birthday, but I feel like it’s mine. Because you took the day off to spend it with me. Because you took me to music class while my Mommy gets a much needed vacation in Mexico. Because you soothe me when you sing, both when you’re here and when I listen to your CD. (Remember when we sang together at Ba’s party earlier this week? Let’s do more of that.)

So Happy Birthday, my lovely Tito Foi. I can’t wait to grow up with you by my side. And I hope I grow up with a heart that’s half as big as yours. If I do, I think I’ll end up a pretty good person. Maybe that’s your gift to me? Or maybe our gift to each other is knowing that winter, spring, summer or fall, all we’ll have to do is call…

Love you,

Munchkin

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TMLFYI… | Gripping

Anaiya Sophie

I originally thought of making this post about friendship. But I’m not sure Sophie’s as much of a friend to you as she is a servant always and fully in your grip, under your thumb, at your mercy. I also thought of vice as an amplifier for the grip you’ve got but I feel like there’s going to be an opportunity to better use that in the future (perhaps in a less flattering way, like when you grab a fistful of someone’s hair and won’t let go.)

So we’re settling for gripping. Today my love for you is gripping. And like the rest of us, Sophie is not only fully in your grip, but completely under your thumb.

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My $.02 | Timeless Lessons | 49’ers, Kyle Williams, and Teamwork

The Backdrop: At this point, I’m not certain of the exact direction I’ll be taking this site. I do believe that no matter the course, I’ll always have an interest in sharing my thoughts when I’ve been moved to a realization that in turn, should make me a better person (husband, son, brother, friend, employee, boss, leader, citizen).

The following article, about how the San Francisco 49’ers rallied around Kyle Williams after he played a high-profile (though certainly not singular) role in their NFC Championship game loss to the NY Giants, led me to one of those realizations.

>> Here is the article for your reference, written by Gregg Doyel of CBSSports.com: http://bit.ly/z5gZUv

I say high-profile because Williams fumbled at two key points, once in the 4th Quarter and once in OT, the latter of which led directly to the NY Giants game-winning field goal. This football game was played by men, together, not any single man. And that is easy for me to say since I had no suffering or pleasure to gain from the outcome of the game. (Tim Tebow took care of my highs and my lows this year, and frankly, I’m a better fan for it!)

Members of the 49’ers team assumed their most comfortable and natural demeanors as they came to his defense.

  • HumblyWhatever he was thinking, it ended when he saw the crowd of media gathering around Williams’ locker. Ted Ginn made a face and disappeared. A minute later he came back and asked the media to move along.“Go on now,” Ginn said softly, politely, seriously. “It’s too much for him right now.”
  • RationallyDefensive tackle Ray McDonald didn’t want to talk to me, but when I told him the topic was Kyle Williams, he changed his mind. “He’s our teammate,” McDonald said. “Mistakes happen, and he made one that came at the wrong time, but we’re behind him 100 percent. Don’t doubt that.”
  • Defiantly: “We all lost this game,” tight end Delanie Walker said. “We play as a team — it’s 45 of us out there. It’s not Kyle’s fault, so don’t go over there and act like it is. Cause it’s not.”
  • Boisterously: Injured Josh Morgan — walked over to Williams’ locker and made an announcement. “I’m talking for Kyle,” Morgan said. “You have any questions, ask me. He’s not talking today. I got it.”

My Realization: And all of this made me wonder: how would I have acted? I’d like to think that I have, in such situations, been like Ginn, McDonald, Walker, or Morgan. Haven’t I?

Wouldn’t we all like to believe that about ourselves? And haven’t we all fallen short at some point, yet found a way to forgive ourselves for doing so? Excusing our own behavior for not excusing someone else’s? In this regard, I know that I for one have work to do.

As a Player: What I learned the most from this article is the balance between the four players featured here (and I’m certain there were countless other coaches and players taking similar stances). The different styles each employed to make their point and show their support. There are many ways to put your arm around someone’s shoulder. There is an almost infinite pool of words one can string together to say “I got it.” And every tone is acceptable when showing your sincerest support. The most important thing is that you do not shy away from showing your support as it is your responsibility.

As a Leader: What I learned the most from this article is the importance of a team filled with integrity, not only with its people, but with its inherent structure. If you are going to put a team member in a position to make a mistake on the grandest of stages, then you damned well better have a structure in place to absorb the grandest of failures. Your job as a leader is on one hand, defined by your ability to put your players in a position to succeed. But your greatest work as a leader is when those players have failed. Your greatest work is defined by how you receive them after the fact, and whether you give them the strength to go back out there and take that chance again. And whether your entire team stands behind that individual and your decision when the results are in.

Epilogue: “Everyone in here told me to keep my head up and it’s not on me,” Kyle Williams said. “You hate to be the last guy that had the ball, to give it up that way in that fashion and to lose a game of this magnitude … but I couldn’t be happier with my teammates.”

I’m not sure if they are happy with you, Kyle, but it sounds like your teammates love and support you. And that is a dramatically more powerful sentiment.

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