Tag Archives: love

DADDY | LOVE or THE INSANELY FINITE

The ability to feel love, is for all intents and purposes, eternal. You express it involuntarily from the moment you’re born, and you express it in whatever form possible for as long as you’re humanly capable. But the ability to show that love to someone, to extend it to the people you love, to know they feel it in return, is incredibly finite.

The ability to make someone feel loved is INsanely finite.

For today, for this Valentine’s Day, I hope you are motivated by the insanely finite in pursuit of the infinite.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful that I kissed my Daddy on the cheek every single time I saw him, and every single time I said goodbye. Including when I landed in India last week. My love for my father is infinite and will carry with me until my own last breath. My ability to say it to him directly, and to know that he has heard me, to make sure he knows he was loved, feels today, very much in the realm of the finite.

Love your family. Love your friends. Love the people around you. Not the way you want to love them, but the way they want to be loved. Love them not so you can say aloud that you expressed your love, but rather, so that someone very comfortably and very consistently and very clearly says “I know you love me.”

Love you all. I do. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Note: I’ve collected all the posts and thoughts I’ve shared about my Daddy’s death in one place. Some people have found it helpful as they’ve navigated through their own experiences, or, as they’ve had to step in to support others. This is one in a series, and you can find the full list of posts here.

 

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MY SIS or CREATING SPACE

My sis is my guardian angel. She always did everything at home, for my family, for our parents, so I could run off and explore the world. For 17 years, splitting time with my mom, she was the primary daily caretaker of my bedridden ba (grandmother).

While I was off being a kid and a teenager, my sis went from 11yo to grownup overnight. With a daily list of responsibilities that filled the day, and reset at midnight. It wasn’t until she was approaching 30, when my ba passed away, that she was able to focus on herself. But at that point, life was in full swing.

Work.

Expectations.

Society.

My sis never had a childhood and she never had the chance to truly focus on herself later in life.

That’s what my Daddy wanted for her more than anything. For her to take that step back, find out how amazing she is, achieve her fullest potential as one of the sincerest and purest and most loving people the world has ever known. They had that discussion in December before my parents left for India, and even in January he was telling her “2018 is your year.”

The power of love, with family and with friends, puts the world’s most powerful force (love) against the most delicate of subjects (human feelings). What my Daddy and my Mumma have always wanted for my sister is what they believe is best for her. It didn’t always work for both sides. For all the mutual want, she never had the space or the opportunity or the impetus to create that space for herself when the world wouldn’t give it to her.

As we search for our “why” around all of this mess, Anu Kiran, I have found one that gives me peace.

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Daddy wanted to give you space in a way nobody else in the world could.

The single thing that will make him the happiest (not would, but will, as this is not a past tense appreciation) is reading your note below, and watching you move forward with that torch firmly in hand.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful for the power and selflessness that the most powerful father/daughter bond I have known for my lifetime, has created.

Godspeed, my angel. Godspeed.

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A STAR

Yesterday, our Dad became a star. There’s still a lifetime of things to say, but here is step 1… Today I fly to India to join the strongest person I know, my mom, and a community of friends and family, to help the world say goodbye to his body. His light. His love. His spirit. His crappy jokes. His absolute moral perfection and purity.

Those will live on forever. Envelop us from moment-to-moment. Protect us. Remind us. Break us but only momentarily. Because his strength and resilience are also with us forever.

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#iamgrateful and #iamthankful to have called you Daddy for 42 years, and now, to close my eyes, or to look at the sky, or to look at your grandkids, and be reminded and fully inspired to do the same.

Forever.

I will see your body soon. I will do my best to live in a way that makes you proud and is worthy of your legacy. See you soon, Daddy. You’d be proud and brought to tears if you heard Anaiya explain her love for you, and, how she knows you’ll always be with us. I’ll whisper it in your ear when I see you. ❤

Also, go Eagles. You earned this Super Bowl run with a near lifetime of dedicated fandom. 🙂

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Thank you all for your love and support. It’s a testament to the person he will always be and the person my mom is. Send love. Send strength.

Shed no tears. Channel that emotion deeply and powerfully toward the people you love.

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DADDY | A STAR

Yesterday, our Dad became a star. There’s still a lifetime of things to say, but here is step 1…

Today I fly to India to join the strongest person I know, my mom, and a community of friends and family, to help the world say goodbye to his body. His light. His love. His spirit. His crappy jokes. His absolute moral perfection and purity. Those will live on forever. Envelop us from moment-to-moment. Protect us. Remind us. Break us but only momentarily. Because his strength and resilience are also with us forever.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful to have called you Daddy for 42 years, and now, to close my eyes, or to look at the sky, or to look at your grandkids, and be reminded and fully inspired to do the same. Forever. I will see your body soon. I will do my best to live in a way that makes you proud and is worthy of your legacy. See you soon, Daddy. You’d be proud and brought to tears if you heard Anaiya explain her love for you, and, how she knows you’ll always be with us. I’ll whisper it in your ear when I see you. 

Also, go Eagles. You earned this Super Bowl run with a near lifetime of dedicated fandom. 🙂

Thank you all for your love and support. It’s a testament to the person he will always be and the person my mom is. Send love. Send strength. Shed no tears. Channel that emotion deeply and powerfully toward the people you love.

Note: I’ve collected all the posts and thoughts I’ve shared about my Daddy’s death in one place. Some people have found it helpful as they’ve navigated through their own experiences, or, as they’ve had to step in to support others. This is one in a series, and you can find the full list of posts here.

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HBD DAD

This first picture says it all.

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What you are doing for Jaanu in this pic is what you do for all around you. Smile. Laugh. Support. Lift up. And perhaps most inconspicuously…fall to the background.

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You’ve raised an amazing daughter who u am lucky enough to call a wife. You have taught her to expect the best and that she deserves to be treated like royalty. All by example. We love you, Dad. Happy 70th. #iamgrateful and #iamthankful for the bar you have set.

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H(e)BD DADAJI

This…is literally all that matters in the world. We look at all the insanity out there and we just try our darnedest to make sense of it. And we can’t. And the problem is…it’s all layers of artifice. Opinions stacked upon interpretations stacked upon assumptions stacked upon baggage.

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Which is why life gets hard.

You know when life gets easy?

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When you watch this video. And you see Anaiya express just precisely how she feels about one of the most important people in her life. One of the two people who her brother was named after. It’s just pure love.

And it brings out the best in my family and it turns my Dad, one of the purest and sincerest people, the person I know whose heart is most always on his sleeve, the person we know who is unfamiliar, downright allergic to formality and artifice…it brings out the best in him and the happiest in him. We were happy to be there for it. Jaan made it pretty far. 🙂 But on the eve of Dad’s Birthday, Anaiya hung out quite late and is about to make her way to bed.Guess who she is sleeping with?Dadaji and Dadaji.Game, set, match. On love and life.#iamgrateful and #iathankful for all of it.

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MOM (TBD)

Long post about Satinder Chadha.

Get in on Mom C. 🙂Anyone who knows me worth a lick knows that my mom is responsible for (any of the modest) good I have done. Not only am I grateful or thankful to her, I am eternally humbled and indebted.

My mom is the world. And I am blessed because my extraordinary wife Priya KC Bhatt sees it and benefits from it too. But one person blesses me on the next level. My “mother-in-law”. Drop the in-law. She’s Mom.

She is a blessing. She is a Nani for the ages. She is a mom who made my wife so incredible. And gave these kids an amazing Mamu in Deepal Chadha. Undeniably through the amazing partnership with Daljit Chadha. 🙂

She is a second mom to one of the most special people in my life, my sis Anu Kiran. But also my sisters geographically removed who ALL love and adore her (Sapna Bhuta McCarthy, Anuja Silady, Rakhee Bhatt, Chand Knee). She is an adorable, loving Aunty to everyone I know.

She is the heartbeat of our daily family life in a Edison: She is more than glue, she is fuel.

We have benefitted ungracefully from her love and generosity for 8 months as invaders of her home. All she has done is loved, embraces, helped, cooked, supported. CRUSHED.

Today she is on a flight to India. Where for one of the rarest moments in he life she gets to focus on herself. She goes to spend time with family.

I wish her all the lifetimes of happiness. She has earned all of it. The best compliment and twist to this story?

Brings the story back to my Mumma, Renu Bhatt. Who is happy because I have someone like you, Mom C, to call Mom, too. The person who raised me is the biggest fan of the person who raises us daily, now. She feels doses of bliss everyday knowing I was lucky enough to get you in this awesome package deal.

My Mumma, loves and appreciates my Mom. That’s some next level special love. It’s rare. And that’s my blessing. TBD because you were worth the wait. 🙂Mom C. Nani.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful for you. Have an amazing trip. We will miss you. 🙂The photo is a result of what you make possible. We love you. But let’s be clear…I LOVE YOU.

See you soon!!!

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NACHOS

I. Love. Nachos. Best in the city? El Vez NYC all day. San Loco on the tail end of a bender. But nobody is perfect. For me the perfect nachos aren’t piled but sorted perfectly side-by-side like a jigsaw puzzle. Perfectly topped with whatever my heart desires on that day from a protein standpoint. Smothered in a balance of quest accents to a mixed peppery cheese blend. One pickled jalapeño per bite. Sour cream squirted on top with a $2 condiments squeeze bottle. Salsa and guacamole on the side with a spoon to dollop each bite. WHOA, I am hungry. Happy Nachos Day, Folks. #iamgrateful and #iamthankful for all the nacho memories.

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7 YEAR ITCH?

7 years ago today, Priya KC Bhatt and I had our legal wedding ceremony. Intimate with literally only immediate family. Our wedding fell just after Thanksgiving so as a result, we rarely celebrate the big wedding day (we prefer to hang with fam and friends.)

Which is what makes this day so special. It’s been a whirlwind 7 years. Into and out of Charlotte. Into and out of Jersey City. Into and out of a good number of jobs along the way (I definitely carry my weight in one area.) Two, ridiculous kids that fill up the world and make everything good, possible.

But today, after a great weekend with friends, made possible AGAIN by the Family that spoils us rotten, I found myself with an itch that needed to be scratched. I’ve gained weight. Only my hair and patience have thinned. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. But I continue to fly through certain aspects of my life like it is. 7 years ago I promised you, Priya, that I would spend every moment loving you more and making sure each day was happier than the last.

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Part of that is how I treat the world. Part of that is making sure I am here and healthy to treat you all like you deserve until the end of time.I woke up this morning and realized that though it’s been a wonderful and incredible 7 years, I need to do more, be better, to live up to my promises so we can live up to our potential.And it had me itching to start on that progress now.

So let’s indulge in our anniversary dinner. And then, with FB as my witness, I am going to scratch the hell out of this itch, and make sure the next 7 years are better than the last 7.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful for the last 7 years. #iamfiredup about what’s next.

I love you. You’re hot…on the inside even moreso. 😉

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KISS

What a great night. Family taking care of Jaan and Anaiya. Afternoon to evening food and booze thanks to the HBD of an amazing friend who turned 30. < 😉

Also… 10 years to the moment, on the day where Priya KC Bhatt and I met.

#iamgrateful and #iamrhankful for Soniya Babu Sheth’s birthdays and all that her rockstar of a Man Shashank Sheth does to bring her special days to life. Also… my wife is hot. ‘Nuff said.

She’s also the kind of person with skills you don’t eff with. 🙂

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