Tag Archives: sisters


My sis is my guardian angel. She always did everything at home, for my family, for our parents, so I could run off and explore the world. For 17 years, splitting time with my mom, she was the primary daily caretaker of my bedridden ba (grandmother).

While I was off being a kid and a teenager, my sis went from 11yo to grownup overnight. With a daily list of responsibilities that filled the day, and reset at midnight. It wasn’t until she was approaching 30, when my ba passed away, that she was able to focus on herself. But at that point, life was in full swing.




My sis never had a childhood and she never had the chance to truly focus on herself later in life.

That’s what my Daddy wanted for her more than anything. For her to take that step back, find out how amazing she is, achieve her fullest potential as one of the sincerest and purest and most loving people the world has ever known. They had that discussion in December before my parents left for India, and even in January he was telling her “2018 is your year.”

The power of love, with family and with friends, puts the world’s most powerful force (love) against the most delicate of subjects (human feelings). What my Daddy and my Mumma have always wanted for my sister is what they believe is best for her. It didn’t always work for both sides. For all the mutual want, she never had the space or the opportunity or the impetus to create that space for herself when the world wouldn’t give it to her.

As we search for our “why” around all of this mess, Anu Kiran, I have found one that gives me peace.

May be an image of 2 people and people smiling

Daddy wanted to give you space in a way nobody else in the world could.

The single thing that will make him the happiest (not would, but will, as this is not a past tense appreciation) is reading your note below, and watching you move forward with that torch firmly in hand.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful for the power and selflessness that the most powerful father/daughter bond I have known for my lifetime, has created.

Godspeed, my angel. Godspeed.

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Anyone who knows me knows this is my favorite holiday. My favorite day of celebration. Why? Because it’s about siblings. It’s about my sisters. It’s an acknowledgement of all they do for me. It’s about so much truth. Your siblings know you longest. In some ways, they know you best because they know you early (in my case, from Day 1), and they live alongside you. There are no choices when it comes to siblings. They just are. Undeniable. I mean this for the sisters with whom I share blood, the sisters with whom sharing blood is irrelevant, and I mean this for the sisters I’ve acquired who may not share blood with me, but they do with my wife and even more powerfully, my kids (it’s wild to think about Anaiya and Jaan literally sharing blood with their Masis.)

It’s a holiday that’s all about good. That transcends religions. Cultures. Who, in what part of the world, would object to celebrating the bond between a brother and a sister? Given the state of the world today — it’s not just the US, mind you, but nationalism and xenophobia are prevalent and seeing their rise everywhere (it’s more circular and recurrent in history than we’d like to admit), I thought this story was a nice one to share. Love to my sisters. You all make all the good in me worthwhile. All the mess, that’s my bad. 😉

It starts with you Anu Kiran and #iamgrateful and #iamthankful we’ve got some awesome sisters, don’t we?


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This past Saturday, after a fine lunch, the kids and I made our way back to the car. I placed them in their car seats enough to hold them while I went back to load the stroller in the trunk. As I was a-stroller-folding, I heard Jaanu crack up. Then again. So I peeked through the trunk and into the backseat to see…this. This will be my favorite picture forever. Hard to see it topped. I love it because it’s emblematic of a sibling relationship. At the very core, the hands. This reminds me of my sis and me, Anu Kiran. Those hands might as well be ours. And though as we have aged and grown, we’ve experienced different facial expressions and body language. Sometimes smiling like this, sometimes angry, sometimes sad, sometimes tired and sleeping, and often times with one feeling one way and the other another way. Sometimes we are facing in, sometimes up, sometimes away. But you know what never changes? Our hands. I always have yours in mine and you always have mine in yours.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful that you are my sis. And that you are always there to reach for my hand and have been since the day I was born. I hope Anaiya is to Jaan what you have been to me. If so, he will have no greater blessing. I wanted to be the first to say HBD. May it be momentum to make this year and all that follow, wonderful. Love you, Tito!

May be an image of 2 people and people smiling

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That’s my sis. Seriously. Look at this pic? Anaiya intently concentrating on the TV. Tito Foi concentrating on Anaiya (specifically, being fed.) That’s how life is with my sis around. Just about everyone I know and think of finds a way to fight for the foreground. Not my sis. She fights to be the canvas upon which the background is drawn, so the foreground can pop. She’s done this for me my entire life. She’s why I have such few expectations of me around the fam (folks love me, this isn’t a pity party, it’s an acknowledgement one). Because she took all the stuff that was necessary and essential and required so I could run off and be an irresponsible and disassociated free spirit. My parents made me who I am. I am who I have become (the good things, the fact that bad stuff exists is my fault in human nature) because my sister sucked up all the weight of life and allowed me to go off and be me.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful for my canvas. Thanks for letting me ungracefully hog the foreground. Also, I know this pic is symbolic of you and me. I’m always Anaiya, and you are always you, holding a spoon to my mouth. Happy soon to be bday!

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Can sing. I know. I shared a wall with our shower growing up and heard her every morning. 😉😛 Her voice is magical. She’s the only person I will listen to intently when a religious song is being represented. When Anaiya was young, she would gravitate toward my sis when she was singing. Maybe it’s why Anaiya sings so much right now.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful for my sis finding her passion…and for her HAPPY BDAY JUST AROUND THE CORNER!!!

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TMLFYI… | Brothered

For the longest time I was a brother with many sisters. Life was good; even when it included my being dressed-up in berets, bows, and whatever else my sisters made me wear. The brother/sister relationship is one of the most special you can have. I am both a younger brother and an older brother. I love and cherish my roles respectively, and love it more when those relationships expand (to include your mom’s sisters, and my brother’s/friend’s significant others.)

The brother/sister relationship is the foundation of my favorite personal “holiday”, Raksha Bandhan. As rituals go, I tend not to be a fan. But this one is untouchable and beautiful to me. You can read the background on Wikipedia or elsewhere so I’ll spare you a deeper dive, but here’s my quick rundown on what it is and why it matters. If you’re lucky enough to have a sister, you’re blessed. This blessing is memorialized once each year when the sister ties a Rakhi (simple, beautiful thread) on the wrist of her brother, serving as a symbol of her blessings and her protection. In return, the brother gives his sister gifts, as recognition of both his luck (for receiving that love) and as acknowledgement of the fact that he’s trying his best to repay a debt he’ll never actually be able to. Money for eternal blessings, love, and protection. Sure, I know there’s obviously a lot of stuff going back to the sister on this front, and they’re kind of lucky too, but as A brother, I feel like this is pretty one-sided leaving me the beneficiary.

Over the past 8 weeks, you’ve met a number of your brothers. Some have held you and made you cry (Karan, you’re never going to live this down, bro, even though it’s not true — it is a fun story,) some have held you and pointed out that they didn’t make you cry right after the fact (Mundeep, way to seize the opportunity), and some have simply wanted you to say hi and taken sheer bliss from it (Arj, happy you got your wish).

This weekend you got to spend time with the brother who’s closes in age to you, your Hukam Veerji. What a great weekend together, and we ended it in style. You were super comfortable in his lap, and he was super comfortable with you in it. We’ll be retaking this exact picture over time.

With Hukam Veerji on his way back home, now only a couple of hours a way (how awesome is that?), I realize that today my love for you finds its way to you through your brothers. The boys who make me feel blessed because of the roles they are all going to play in your life, and who you will have the opportunity to love, bless, and protect as my sisters have done for me.

Man, I can’t wait for your first Raksha Bandhan. You’ve got a lot of love to give, don’t you munchkin.

Bro 1

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