Tag Archives: mother

MOM (TBD)

Long post about Satinder Chadha.

Get in on Mom C. 🙂Anyone who knows me worth a lick knows that my mom is responsible for (any of the modest) good I have done. Not only am I grateful or thankful to her, I am eternally humbled and indebted.

My mom is the world. And I am blessed because my extraordinary wife Priya KC Bhatt sees it and benefits from it too. But one person blesses me on the next level. My “mother-in-law”. Drop the in-law. She’s Mom.

She is a blessing. She is a Nani for the ages. She is a mom who made my wife so incredible. And gave these kids an amazing Mamu in Deepal Chadha. Undeniably through the amazing partnership with Daljit Chadha. 🙂

She is a second mom to one of the most special people in my life, my sis Anu Kiran. But also my sisters geographically removed who ALL love and adore her (Sapna Bhuta McCarthy, Anuja Silady, Rakhee Bhatt, Chand Knee). She is an adorable, loving Aunty to everyone I know.

She is the heartbeat of our daily family life in a Edison: She is more than glue, she is fuel.

We have benefitted ungracefully from her love and generosity for 8 months as invaders of her home. All she has done is loved, embraces, helped, cooked, supported. CRUSHED.

Today she is on a flight to India. Where for one of the rarest moments in he life she gets to focus on herself. She goes to spend time with family.

I wish her all the lifetimes of happiness. She has earned all of it. The best compliment and twist to this story?

Brings the story back to my Mumma, Renu Bhatt. Who is happy because I have someone like you, Mom C, to call Mom, too. The person who raised me is the biggest fan of the person who raises us daily, now. She feels doses of bliss everyday knowing I was lucky enough to get you in this awesome package deal.

My Mumma, loves and appreciates my Mom. That’s some next level special love. It’s rare. And that’s my blessing. TBD because you were worth the wait. 🙂Mom C. Nani.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful for you. Have an amazing trip. We will miss you. 🙂The photo is a result of what you make possible. We love you. But let’s be clear…I LOVE YOU.

See you soon!!!

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STRAIGHT OUTTA

Priya KC Bhatt stopped breastfeeding Jaanu this week. She’s taking a nice and much overdue night away in Philly with her sis Marlene Sawhney Sidhu and a friend who are in the same boat. Breastfeeding is wild. The pressure women get. It’s just unfair.

The fact that so much about what makes it possible can be out of your control (such different experiences with Jaan and Anaiya.) The fact that if I were the one who were biologically able to feed, it would have lasted one feeding. #iamgrateful and #iamthankful she gets this opportunity. #straightouttabreastmilk

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MOMS

Mother’s Day is such a great day. It’s unifying. For all the disagreements and polarization in the world, Mother’s Day is one of the few days where we kind of get it together. Because even the folks I know who have not always had the greatest blessing of having access to an amazing mom biologically, most have found access to amazing mother figures proximally or otherwise. Because that’s what moms do. They raise … everyone. I benefitted from it as a child. And I didn’t even get it. My mom is amazing. Let’s be clear. The loudest voice in my head is my moms. Even with a wife and a daughter. My moms voice (Renu Bhatt) is loudest — because she’s also telling me and guiding me on how to be with them. There’s something about tenure. But there are so many other “mom figures”. There are so many other people who, though it may not be actually true, who raised me in a way to believe that there were people out in the world who loved me more than I loved myself, and who were willing to do for me more than they did for themselves. That’s what moms do. My Ba. My sis (Anu Kiran) because as Anaiya is showing me, an older sis is as good as the real thing. It’s also the greatest evidence that being maternal and being a mother figure, doesn’t require birthing a child. My Nani Sheth. My Darshana Bhuta Shukla (I love that your profile pic is an and my mom … exactly the point I make here!) My Mamis (Neelu Bhatt, Shanti Mehta, Chet Bhatt, Charu Bhatt). My Kakis (Rakhee Bhatt). My Nani from another Mami (Chet Mehta). My friends moms, too many to name. Even that mom that keeps a falafel ready for you in the fridge when she knows you will be home late as hell and hungry as hell (right Ekata Doshi?) And … my most recent mom, who made it ok to call someone a mom formally and in the purest sense, when there’s no blood or legacy involved. Satinder Chadha. That’s the beauty of moms. They transcend. So many damn boundaries. So many ridiculous assumptions and borders. Moms. And that’s what I love about life. Because just when you think you’ve figured out humility, life slaps you in the face and points back over your shoulder to tell you — there’s more room to grow. That’s my wife. Priya KC Bhatt.

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Every other mom I’ve known, I’ve always known as a mom.

But Priya .. is the the first mom I’ve watched intimately grow into a mom. And it’s beautiful and amazing. And humbling. I’ve spent the past few years realizing a lot of my flaws and faults. But the past 3.5 years I’ve also come to grips with my natural limitations. When I watch Priya with the kids it’s different. Her patience is always steps past where mine ends. Here awareness is always steps past where mine ends. Here ability to hear them cry through several walls and floors is always seconds, minutes, hours before mine. And that’s mom. So I guess my point is that the moment I became best equipped to appreciate everything that a mom is … the moment of maximum mom appreciation and celebration … was the moment, I became a dad. #iamgrateful and #iamthankful for all I’ve learned from you all. Happy Mother’s Day. #stronglikemom

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TYMMPB… | You’ll Take Care of Them

There are two people in your life you have absolute, undeniable responsibility for, from the moment you’re born. Your Mumma. And your sister.

I don’t want this to sound overly dramatic; I simply want to make clear the role you play in their lives. (Note: I have the same conversation with your sis lest you think there’s some slant or bias here.)

There’s a one month period every year where this will be more important than ever: January 12 – February 15. Why? Because you’ve got Anaiya’s birthday, Valentine’s Day, and your Mumma’s birthday coming at you faster than you’ll know what to do with.

Keep calm. Give hugs. Sit in laps as long as you can; and when you can’t any longer, sleep in them. That last one lasts forever; I know, because I still sleep in my Mumma’s lap.

You did a bang up job of it this year. You let them get whacky while you just smiled, and chilled, and hugged, and loved.

Sometimes, it can really be that simple. You found a way to make their day about them, but making sure you never made it about you. So young, and already, so wise. Keep it going, Jaanu.

TYMMPB | Feb

And Happy Birthday, Mumma. Also, the house didn’t always look like that mess behind you. We’re moving soon.

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TYMMPB… | Being Silver and Exact

I don’t think you will ever realize the weight on your shoulders. Actually, the expectations cast as glances, shadows, dreams upon you. Even at this age — 2 months today — every person who looks at you has expectations.

It’s not easy. I failed often, and miserably — often miserably, miserably often — with that same weight on my shoulders. But watching you this past month gives me extraordinary peace. Because I realize something you do extraordinarily well already is reflect back to all of these people what they expect of you.

When your sister sings to you, you indulge her voice, her pitch, her volume, her passion and even, her sometimes unknowing heavy handedness. She can’t help it. It’s love.

When your mother feeds you, you indulge all she has to offer you. Her nourishment, sure, but her love, her warmth, her hold, her comfort. You take it all in furiously and give it back, cheek to cheek.

When your Dadiji and Naniji come to visit. And know this, between them, you’ve had a grandmother here for about 7 of your 8.5 weeks. When they come to visit you let them hold you, hug you, change you … you reflect back all of the extraordinary, pure and intense love they direct your way by being. In their arms. Being.

I mean wow. Look at how much happiness you bring people by doing nothing other than being?

That’s you. A mirror for all of our love. Incredibly patient. Hell, you went 6 days without dropping a deuce, going to borderline jaundice, and the only thing we could tell the doctor was “yeah, he’s … a little fussy? we guess?” At two months you managed to calm our nerves by not letting the world phase you. A mirror that managed to bend and reflect back even our own insecurities in beautiful ways distorting them into something calm, simple, beautiful. Handsome.

Maybe you’ll go a life time being that reflection to all around you. It’s something powerful. People need to see in you their best selves. People do see in you their best selves.

Watching you work your way through month two has made me realize that I can be that better mirror, too. For your mom. For your sister. For your grandparents. For all the people in our lives. Thank you for making me proud, Jaanu. But thank you more for teaching me the importance of reflection … and reflecting. Literally, in some cases. Like this video.

Happy second month, son. You continue to change our lives in ways we never thought possible.

 

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My $.02 | IMHO | Moms

I’m a Dad. Which is fantastic. But as amazing as that is, I’m not and never will be a Mom. Which is humbling. Mom’s are cut from a different cloth. Which is why the best thing we can do is surround ourselves with them. As our own. As grandmothers. As aunts. As siblings. As friends. As … my wife. I’m blessed and amazed to have been raised by someone so amazing and now, to find myself standing next to someone equally brilliant.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mumma. I am and would be nothing without you. My compassionate and loving sister and I are and would be nothing without you.

Happy Mother’s Day too, Mom. You make a word I never thought I could associate to someone else, roll off the tongue.

Happy Mother’s Day to my Ba’s (gone too soon), my Masi, my Fai, my Mamis, my Kakis. And Happy Mother’s Day to my friends’ moms who represent the village that raised me. Happy Mother’s Day to my sisters, through blood and (or) through my own sheer luck. Happy Mother’s Day to all of my amazing friends who have served as role models leading up to 1/12/2014 and now, beyond.

And Happy First Mother’s Day to the love of my life, my wife. I’ve always been awed by you. And the past few months have only proven that I’ve had every reason to be. Happy Mother’s Day. Happy, Happy, Happy Mother’s Day.

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