Umm. Yeah. I do. Because I am a newborn, who entered this crazy world with a drug addiction. This program sounds wonderful. So let’s go ahead and do this: hug it out. #iamgrateful and #iamthankful for the people with the compassion and intelligence and creativity to come up with programs like this, and for Arti Upadhyay-Patel who shared this so I could see it. Also, let’s keep it real: these hugs heal more than the babies being hugged. Happy Friday, people. Happy. Friday.
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There are two people in your life you have absolute, undeniable responsibility for, from the moment you’re born. Your Mumma. And your sister.
I don’t want this to sound overly dramatic; I simply want to make clear the role you play in their lives. (Note: I have the same conversation with your sis lest you think there’s some slant or bias here.)
There’s a one month period every year where this will be more important than ever: January 12 – February 15. Why? Because you’ve got Anaiya’s birthday, Valentine’s Day, and your Mumma’s birthday coming at you faster than you’ll know what to do with.
Keep calm. Give hugs. Sit in laps as long as you can; and when you can’t any longer, sleep in them. That last one lasts forever; I know, because I still sleep in my Mumma’s lap.
You did a bang up job of it this year. You let them get whacky while you just smiled, and chilled, and hugged, and loved.
Sometimes, it can really be that simple. You found a way to make their day about them, but making sure you never made it about you. So young, and already, so wise. Keep it going, Jaanu.
And Happy Birthday, Mumma. Also, the house didn’t always look like that mess behind you. We’re moving soon.
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I feel like … parenthood adds a 31st chapter to Einstein’s Dreams. It’s when you feel the full weight of a year passing in one single, powerful, gut checking, reality forcing, tear inducing, awe inspiring, mother effing moment. At 11:59:59pm on Wednesday you were 2. A raucous 2. An evolving 2. A personality developing 2. A very different 2 than the 2 you started at. But 2. You were our 2 year old daughter. And in a flash. It was January 12th. And all that you became while you were 2. Turned into 3. And I can’t believe it. You know what else I can’t believe? How incredibly fast time flies. And how many things you keep teaching me about myself. How much you keep teaching your mom and I about ourselves, and about each other. And how in less than 8 months you’ve demonstrated the kind of sister you’re going to be (awesome). And so many more things. But really, one more thing. We can’t believe that this kind of love is possible. #Iamgrateful and #Iamthankful for every stinking moment. You’re gracious, generous, genius, gregarious, and gorgeous. Happy Birthday, Magic. Stop bending time so quickly, please, Magic. My heart just can’t keep up.
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We’ve already talked about the power of touch. About being grateful and thankful. About building bridges. We’ve covered some topics.
This might be our most important.
Give. Just. Give.
Of yourself. Of your soul. Of your wallet. Of your time. Of your energy. Of. Your. Self.
You may not realize it, but 6 months in, that’s what you’re doing right now. You’re being present. You’re spending time. You’re giving love. And hugs. And holy hell are you giving hugs. It helps that you’re a fairly huggable young man, whose body basically morphs to and absorbs the shape of whatever you hug, but still. Holy hell do you hug.
Where was I? WTH I just lost myself thinking about hugging you by the way. Remember that when I take your car keys away one night.
But give.
Think of progress. Think of your history books. Not even US History, but World History. Think of how we got from Pyramids to Skyscrapers. From Woodrow Wilson to Barack Obama. From suffering to suffrage. From infant mortality to required rear-facing car seats up to like, 90 lbs (I exaggerate, but still.)
We got there because people gave forward. Ideas. Time. Energy. People gave. To make the world better than it was.
I look back on my childhood and even early adulthood and realize I never gave enough, and I never acknowledged, enough, what I was given. Perhaps the most important thing I was given were shoulders. To lean on, to cry on, and then, and now, to stand on.
I ask that you acknowledge always the shoulders you are standing on so you are thankful for what you’ve been given, but perhaps even more importantly, you look up, you look forward, and adjust your shoulders for the feet looking for their foothold. It will come at you sooner than you think. Your ability to make an impact in this world and to give starts on Day 1. (Nice work, by the way.)
You make an amazing elf. You will, undeniably, make, an even more incredible person. I’ll leave the definition of “incredible” to you, forever and for always.
Today you make me proud because in you, I see already, such an incredible ability to give.
Go on and dust your shoulders off, Jaanu.
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Gift from my folks and sis? Sleeping in until 945am. #Iamgrateful and #Iamthankful for year 6 in the books and many more to come. Love you Priya!!
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Two years ago I hit a rough spot at work. I have many of those. I hope one day I can explain why … so you don’t have those yourself.
Two years ago, I hit a rough spot at work, and I made an active choice. I was going to spend every some time every single day talking about what made me grateful and what made me thankful.
I did this for a long time.
About a year later, we realized we were going to have you.
And today, two years later, here we are. Here you are. And you’ve plugged yourself into the perfect place. You are the love your sister’s life, from moment one; and your mother and I feel the same.
Two years removed, I look at this moment and say unequivocally: #iamgrateful and #iamthankful. I say I am, and I tell you Jaanu, no matter how I may act in precise moments, I always and I always will be. You (and your sister) have made certain of it.
Today you make me proud because, today, you have given me yet another reason to be forever grateful and forever thankful.
I love you, homie. We were a family before you; but we are only a complete family because of you.
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Rulers. Scales. Tape. Google Analytics.
These are all tools you use to measure, Length. Width. Height. Weight. Clothing. And the performance of your website.
What gets measured, gets done, goes an adage you will probably here when you get to working (it makes me sad that some things, I believe, will never change.)
What you’ll learn over time though, is that what truly matters is the space between everything that can be measured. The specific and the measurable gives us security and confidence that we can truly know the world (we can’t).
What’s in-between however, is infinite. It moves in every direction. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, sure; but the truest distance between two points is actually magic. With all the things that matter, there’s no straight line, just infinite emotion and hope and love shooting out in every possible direction.
It’s immeasurable. And the immeasurable, the thing you can’t know or measure, the thing you can only believe, is the only way to explain moments like this.
You. And Dadi Masi. How you and your sister have forged such a strong bond with her when geography, time and space conspire to enforce the opposite, I can’t know. I can only know, it’s beautiful, and it’s immeasurable.
And it’s further evidence that you’re mine. Today, you make me proud because you understand that sometimes, you don’t need proof or evidence, you just need to feel.
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It ain’t right.
It.
Just.
Ain’t.
Right.
Jaanu, there are some people who are trying to turn us into a world of walls. Walls have sides. Not the good kind. The kind you take. Not the kind you leave.
I’m not a fan of walls. Your Mom and I are looking at buying a house soon and every time we walk into a place the first thing I’m looking at is what walls we can take down. I get them. Walls are necessary. Like medicine is necessary. Like funky cheese is necessary.
But too many walls and they lose their purpose. You move from a place where you’re keeping the bad things out, to a place where you’re keeping only you, in.
That’s why I prefer bridges. Bridges have sides too. The kind you talk about because you’re committed to leaving from or going to. The bridge isn’t the end goal. It’s the vehicle that enables the ultimate end goal: connections.
Today you make me proud because, just a few months in, and you already get the value of bridging. Keep doing that hard work and heavy lifting, BBCC.
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I’ve had lots of discussions about the power of human influence. There’s much to cover. What is it that we can do that puts us in the greatest position to impact another person. To affect another person.
Quote after quote talks about the power of words. The impact of words. Our greatest drug. What they have more power then.
Words.
But there’s a funny thing about words. They’re easy. And so, though on the high end, they may have the ability to move, to build, to halt, to destroy, to inspire, to elevate, to bewilder, to deflate. On the highest of ends I see that. I get it.
But you can also throw words away. You can lose them. They can leave you before you pass a thought.
That’s the range of words. You know what does words one better?
Touch.
Touch can be beautiful. Touch can be devastating. But it is always acknowledged. It is powerfully deliberate. And as a result, it’s rare to have touch that isn’t meaningful. Impactful.
I’m not saying it can’t be accidental. But you give it your own whirl and tell me, in the end, which made the greatest impact. A casual word, or casual contact.
Elbow. Cheek. Hand. Head. Shoulder. Waist. Knee.
More than a thousand words, son, I tell you, placing your hand on any one of these places can erase the need for words. Can show us the limitation of words.
Today you make me proud because you get it. I tried telling you that, but I grabbed your two fingers and held on through the night instead.
Because. Touch.
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I don’t think you will ever realize the weight on your shoulders. Actually, the expectations cast as glances, shadows, dreams upon you. Even at this age — 2 months today — every person who looks at you has expectations.
It’s not easy. I failed often, and miserably — often miserably, miserably often — with that same weight on my shoulders. But watching you this past month gives me extraordinary peace. Because I realize something you do extraordinarily well already is reflect back to all of these people what they expect of you.
When your sister sings to you, you indulge her voice, her pitch, her volume, her passion and even, her sometimes unknowing heavy handedness. She can’t help it. It’s love.
When your mother feeds you, you indulge all she has to offer you. Her nourishment, sure, but her love, her warmth, her hold, her comfort. You take it all in furiously and give it back, cheek to cheek.
When your Dadiji and Naniji come to visit. And know this, between them, you’ve had a grandmother here for about 7 of your 8.5 weeks. When they come to visit you let them hold you, hug you, change you … you reflect back all of the extraordinary, pure and intense love they direct your way by being. In their arms. Being.
I mean wow. Look at how much happiness you bring people by doing nothing other than being?
That’s you. A mirror for all of our love. Incredibly patient. Hell, you went 6 days without dropping a deuce, going to borderline jaundice, and the only thing we could tell the doctor was “yeah, he’s … a little fussy? we guess?” At two months you managed to calm our nerves by not letting the world phase you. A mirror that managed to bend and reflect back even our own insecurities in beautiful ways distorting them into something calm, simple, beautiful. Handsome.
Maybe you’ll go a life time being that reflection to all around you. It’s something powerful. People need to see in you their best selves. People do see in you their best selves.
Watching you work your way through month two has made me realize that I can be that better mirror, too. For your mom. For your sister. For your grandparents. For all the people in our lives. Thank you for making me proud, Jaanu. But thank you more for teaching me the importance of reflection … and reflecting. Literally, in some cases. Like this video.
Happy second month, son. You continue to change our lives in ways we never thought possible.
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Suneet Bhatt 