Tag Archives: love

TYMMPB… | You’re the Best in the History

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I don’t remember the first time you said it. I do remember hearing it for the first time; and going absolutely bonkers.

We were doing yoga in the morning during the early days of COVID-19 and as we sat and talked about what the day held, what was going to make us happy, what was going to get in the way of our happy, what was going to be fun, and what was going to get in the way of our fun; in the midst of that logical juxtaposition of what you want, what you control, what gets in the way, and of that, what you control, somehow we stumbled upon “history”.

Your sister spoke first. And as her usual, eloquent and loquacious self, found a way into a spotlight where there wasn’t one, and then proceeded to find a way to own it.

What were you going to do? You were still a couple months away from knocking on 4’s door and here she was, the love of your life, your role model, choosing to go first in expressing her gratefulness in the morning leaving you to follow?

Was that even fair?

Do they have Mike Birbiglia open for someone who’s trying standup for the first time? You know?

She wasn’t better by design; only by years. At this stage in your life she’s got 50% more experiences than you do. It’s not reasonable to have you follow.

You let her roll. But your lips started turning up at the corners.

And when she finished, you dropped your greatest line and now the way I plan to talk going forward in celebration of amazing things always:

“The best in the whole history.”

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It’s so perfect.

It encapsulates you.

It’s succinct. Never take 12 words to say what you can say in 6.

It’s powerful. Never leave doubt on how you’re feeling at the moment.

It’s uniquely generous. Never just give, give in a way people haven’t experienced before.

It’s memorable. Never be forgettable, by choosing to be, say, and do things in unforgettable ways.

It’s sincere. Never fake anything. Ever.

It’s on your sleeve. Never wear anything in your heart or mind, that you wouldn’t wear on your sleeve too.

I love you. You are my absolute and undeniable homie.

I’ve never felt so comfortable expressing my love to someone. Even your sister, at some point, is like “Buhboo, you can’t love me this much!” But you? Naw’man. You? You escalate. When I tell you that you’re the best kid in the world.

Well; you tell me I’m the best buhboo in the history.

A few hours ago you were three; now, at this moment, you’re four. Even you’re reading changed from yesterday to today!

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You will never be three to you again. But I want you to know, to me, you’ll always be …

…a little bit of you at one…

…a little bit of you at two…

…a little bit of you at three…

…a little bit of you at four … and I’m so excited to learn about what that means.

The world. We included. Did a lot to you this year. You switched schools a few times. You moved from your Nana and Naniji’s comfortable daily love to a new home without them. You faced COVID-19. You got scratches. And bruises. On your face, your arms, and dare I say and admit, your heart.

You had people debating you when you weren’t there to be.

But every single day I look at you and I’ll say, man, given what the world and we included have thrown at you, you’re so…damn…good.

We owe you more and we owe you better.

People rise and fall to the expectations you set for them, son.

You’ve called each of us the best in the history. It’s our job to rise to that level and I’ll tell you, we’re getting after it.

As for you? Today You Make Me Proud Because of how real you are; and how wonderful you can make the world feel. You have a gravitational pull that isn’t based on mass (that’s me).

As you step into 4 and build on what’s before, I am so proud of who you are fighting to become every day; and I’m more excited about the kid I’m going to be talking about going into 5.

I love you, homie. You truly are incomparable; you are the greatest son in the history.

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PS: This year I made you gummy animals for your birthday treat; the ones filled with NERDS are INCREDIBLE! We even made you a dragon one as a primer for How to Train your Dragon: The Hidden World!

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But going back to that whole “best in the history” thing we were talking about; you see, 3 days ago you woke up one morning, and when we were getting ready for breakfast you did this dance asking me for gummy bears.

Yeah. Gummy bears.

What’s funny is 2 days earlier I had decided I was going to make you Gummy Bears, ordered all the stuff, and it was on the way.

So I am wicked happy you’re going to have Gummy Bears on your birthday, homie.

And even moreso, that you proclaimed your craving for them while wearing a shirt that would have made JJ happy in pursuit of the Goodest of Times.

But, I’ll tell you, I’ll be as busy as a one-legged cat in a sandbox if one of the greatest moments in my history as a Buhboo (aka father), isn’t the fact that I tapped into your Gummy Bear longing days before you did …

…and then delivered on it.

We got 2020, homie. We got it; because we got each other.

I love you. And all you’re becoming. And all you’ve been.

 

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JUST WATCH or JUST WATCH

If you aren’t a blubbering mess after watching, watch again. #iamgrateful and #iamthankful for moments like this, captured.

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APOLOGIES AND FORGIVENESS LOVE COMPANY or YOM KIPPUR

One of the things organized religions do well are setting aside specific days for important and healing moments. Where rituals turn from service to some higher power to interaction courtesy and respect to the highest power IMHO, the people we live and live for.

As we sit in the heart of Yom Kippur, I’m inspired by the day. There is so much to the ritual of Yom Kippur as I understand it (an outsider) that puts me in position to do my own apology: if I’ve done anything to hurt or offend you, I apologize. If I can make it better, let me know and I assuredly will. It’s not just Yom Kippur, as Sanskrit has also taught us and as my Jain family knows too well with Paryushan and DA’s Lakshan. Which goes back to the original point of many faiths, cultures and religions getting something like this right.

FWIW, the apology is as much about the words (many say that’s the easy part but that isn’t true or more people would do it more often; and also, the hardest step is the first, shifting energy from potential to kinetic so I argue that leading with the words often enables momentum against the sincerity of the apology and ultimately, the resolution.)

Yom Kippur is the holiest day for a reason. My favorite part is when people share their apologies in the group; and what happens next sounds magical: the group leans in and shifts the context from the individual apologizing to the group absorbing ownership. From “I did this” and “I apologize” to “we did this” and “we apologize”. Sins, errors, mistakes—are communal. It’s the highest form of one of my favorite guiding principles, civic responsibility and the social contract.

I can’t think of a more beautiful moment inspired by faith, than that. Anywhere. And #iamgrateful and #iamthankful for the nudge, reminder and space.

So if you are apologizing. And I love you (so many of you I do), then as someone who loves you I say the burden is mine too. Share the weight of your known and unknown regrets; because as my Jewish friends have taught me in the past 24 hours, apologies and forgiveness love company in a way more inspiring way than misery.

What’s best about these days of forgiveness? You need not follow this faith or any faith to participate. Which is why I’m participating. You can too.

If you owe an apology. Or if you acknowledge we make mistakes that we never see; embrace the moment. We’re with you. And for those formally embracing the day, may your fast be easy.PS: As a fan of slow jammy 80s covers, I thought sharing this would be WAY better than sharing a Bieber hit:

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THANK YOU and I LOVE YOUR LOVE

One of the greatest moments in your life is finding your forever love. That can be a person. A passion. A place. So many things.

You know it when you find it.

Which is why I think one of the greatest honors in life is being invited to participate and witness someone’s wedding. That moment when they choose to celebrate and codify that love for eternity.

It’s they’re greatest moment. And now they’re asking you to join them for it.

Whoa.

Today I was lucky enough to make it to the wedding for a person I think the world of. And after meeting her now husband a few months ago, I can agree I feel the same about him.

Cici Haynes your wedding was beautiful, inviting, aware and warm (yeah, it was 90 degrees but I’m not talking about that kinda warm!) Your friends and family represented you and their love for you so well today. As an old man, out of place at arrival, I found myself welcomed and feeling at home quickly. That’s you. That’s Chris. That’s your power. That’s the byproduct of your love.

iamgrateful and #iamthankful I was invited to be a part of today. Even more so. I’ll tell you, I love you both, and I absolutely love your love.

You two have something beautiful figured out.

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BEAUTY or THE BEST OF FACEBOOK

Look at this pic. My wife. Stunning. My daughter, dressed to an adorably fine pout. This is one of my favorite pictures ever. Because it’s modeled on one of my mom ( Renu Bhatt ) doting on and kissing a 2 year old me. And it fits with the others of my wife holding one or both of our kids. #iamgrateful and #iamthankful for these moments captured. And pleasantly re-shared.

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365

I’m gonna take a shower in a bit. #iamgrateful and #iamthankful and #wemissyou Life will never be what it was but it will move forward and we will squeeze the hell out of every moment.

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FOR BEING DELIBERATE or THANK YOU MOM & DAD

2018 … was not easy. Personally. Professionally. It was a year that shook me to my core.

Upon heavy reflection, specifically the past 6 weeks, I realize it’s no coincidence that it ran in parallel with my stepping back from public, daily, gratitude. So today, on the first day of the year, I want to acknowledge the role I played in defining 2018 (on all of the wrong feet), and I want to set the footing…straight. I’ll start with celebrating two people for whom I have no words.

Mom and Dad.

Not those of blood and birthright. But those of luck and choice. Priya KC Bhatt‘s parents. More powerfully, my parents for the past decade plus.

Today…they were there for me, my sis, and my mom … and to them, they’ll think nothing of it.

How do you explain tonight? New Year’s Eve? For my entire childhood I remember my parents making a go at whatever America threw at us, for us. Halloween. Valentine’s Day. Birthdays. Christmas. Thanksgiving. July 4th. You name it. They absorbed, adopted, acclimated, and served my sister Anu Kiran and I a platter, a feast, of moments. But New Year’s Eve? That was theirs.

They partied and threw down in a way that would make the most velvet of ropes feel inferior.

Until February 4th, 2018. When Dad skipped the line and entered the next venue a bit before Mom (she’s destined to enter that party at some point, some days she’s more eager than others, but we know he’s already paid her way and is merely inside, holding a hightop table, with her drink ready … Gin & Tonic … hell, he probably told the barkeep how to make it). New Year’s Eve was them. Until it wasn’t. Today. It wasn’t. How do you fill that void? You bring two amazing kids along for the ride. And wow. Anaiya and Jaanu …they fill voids. They fill canyons. They’d turn the Grand Canyon into a Nebraskan highway.

But how else do you fill that void? You marry into the Chadha family. And you watch Satinder Chadha and Daljit Chadha step into the most complicated of spaces and bring smiles, fun, love, happiness……they act like they had no other place they’d ever been and no other place they’d want to be.

And actually, there’s no acting. There’s just them.

We’re blessed. I’ve got nothing else to say. We’re blessed. #iamgrateful and #iamthankful for Mom and Dad C and have been from day

1. But even moreso, on days like today, I’m beyond thankful and grateful.#iamspeechless

Daddy went back to the bartender tonight. He asked for some extra ice cubes. “She’s going to be a while” he said.

“She’s in good hands.”

Happy New Year.

Not an easy New Year. But a Happy one.

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THANK YOU and AUSSIE HOSPITALITY

A sincere and humbled thank you to the full team at StartCon in Sydney. Minute-by-minute one of the best business conference experiences I’ve had. Professional. Powerful. And humbling. Thanks for giving me some time and space to share our emerging message at Crazy Egg: to grow any relationship, at work, at home, anywhere … pay attention to who’s paying attention, find inspiration, and do something about it.

The StartCon team did precisely that. And I believe all attendees will walk away from the days together feeling better for the time spent and attention paid. Until next year…

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful for ya.(And for all the kind words and feedback.)

Special thanks to Ben Zeidler and Gunny Scarfo and the team at Nonfiction Research for going out of their way to get me some data for our story.

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HBD BA or GRANDPARENTS ARE PARENTS WITH A SECOND SHOT AT THINGS

Happy Birthday, Ba. I had a pretty good week; which means … you’d have had an even better one. There’s something incredible about a grandparent’s love. I witnessed it first-hand with you, and I’m seeing it first-hand with our kids too. All love gets magnified; all missteps get marginalized. It’s not even rose colored glasses … I think it’s parents getting a second chance to look at the kids in their lives and thinking “you know, maybe I would have looked at the world more like this, knowing then what I know now.” It’s something I’m working on experiencing before my second time around. Because of you. Because of them.

We’re taking the kids to Candytopia tomorrow; all for you. For all I know, I know the one thing for sure — Candytopia would’ve been exactly how you’d have wanted to celebrate your birthday with these (or any) little monkeys around. We’ll roll with less rules for that reason, tomorrow. Love you, Ba. For teaching me the word unconditional.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful for that feeling you gave us, and how unavoidable it is at the best and worst of times — just enveloping love when it’s needed or welcome the most. Hope you and Daddy had a great dinner tonight.

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REMIXED RAIN or CRUTCHES

We distributed your ashes today. There’s so much I want to write and say but I don’t know if I have the energy for it: too much life happening recently.

I do want to share a few things, though.

For example, when we took your body down in India and prepared you for cremation, the sky opened up and refreshed the earth with rain. Quickly. Just while we carried you down. It stopped precisely when we hit the ground floor. Well, today, we took those ashes from that day for distribution. And when we sat in the car, and turned away from our cul-de-sac, our windshield began to be spotted by rain again. Just for the drive. Just for those 22 minutes. It was beautiful. It’s too poetic for me to leave it as a coincidence. Instead, I used it as a crutch for the ceremony. I needed crutches. My knees were ripe to buckle a few times — mom’s face, Tita’s tears…most powerfully when your grandkids were participating. Throwing your ashes to the wind and water. Oh wow. Then. Yes then.

Those rain drops. Ami Chhatna, gave me some strength. It was beautiful to see even Mother Nature bow her head and shed some tears for you.

You’re also, all space and air and memories and legacy now. Your ashes are no longer in our house. That was a crutch for all of us too. It sounds silly. But that box in the house … that was comfort. It’s no more. And that’s hard. That’s really hard, Daddy.

Mom said it. “It’s real.” And she said so much more. Yes, we are going to be fine. But yes, it’s still so hard.

Finally. I wore your shirt today. I shaved this morning. I had my glasses on. And when I saw myself in the car window I startled myself. Honestly. I did a double take. I thought I saw you. And then I looked harder. I saw what looked like a wire hanger holding up your shirt. Hollow. Two dimensional. Empty. There’s so much legacy, love, life, to fill. If I have to be honest, which I have to be, I’m not filling it. I’m just not close to filling it.

You are your legacy longer than you are your self.#iamgrateful and #iamthankful for how you are being carried forward. How people are keeping you alive. How your presence is being maintained even as your person moves More permanently into the past. That’s beautiful. That’s a crutch. When people talk about you and remember you. Those are little crutches too.

I look at all you’ve left behind. Your legacy is incredible. It’s humbling. Mine pales, Daddy. #truth. It’s been a lot to process. But truth is truth. However when you see those grandkids of yours I think the world sees all the best of you carrying forward. That’s also your truth. They are some of the best of your legacy. And that too…is perhaps my strongest crutch. You. In them.

That’s beautiful too.#iamgrateful and #iamthankful for that We miss you, Daddy. It was chilly today. You’d have hated the weather. But loved the day.

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