Author Archives: Suneet

Trial & Error | Random Google Search – Ba’s Obituary

Of Somerdale NJ. Wife of the late Chandrakant C. Bhatt Collector of Bombay on Friday April 12 2002 at Kennedy Memorial Hospital in Stratford NJ.
Born in Chorwad INDIA. She was a US citizen and lived with her son Kitran’s family for over 30 years.
She is survived by her eldest brother Dr. Mahesh Bhatt of Amreli INDIA her younger sister Kaladben of Bhavnagar INDIA her son Kiran Bhatt of Somerdale of Somerdale NJ her daughter Dharshana Bhuta of Pleasanton CA her daughter-in-law Renu Bhatt of Somerdale NJ her granddaughter Anita Bhatt of Somerdale NJ her granddaughters Sapna & Anuja Bhuta of Davis CA and her grandson Suneet Bhatt of Jersey City NJ.
Memorial & Cremation Services will be held at the LeROY P. WOOSTER FUNERAL HOME & CREMATORY 441 White Horse Pike Atco NJ at 1:00pm on Sunday April 14 2002. In lieu of flowers memorial contributions can be made to the American Heart Association .
Happy 1st Great Grandmother’s Day, Ba. Miss you.
Ba

Leave a comment

Filed under Timeless Lessons, Trial & Error

My $.02 | IMHO | Moms

I’m a Dad. Which is fantastic. But as amazing as that is, I’m not and never will be a Mom. Which is humbling. Mom’s are cut from a different cloth. Which is why the best thing we can do is surround ourselves with them. As our own. As grandmothers. As aunts. As siblings. As friends. As … my wife. I’m blessed and amazed to have been raised by someone so amazing and now, to find myself standing next to someone equally brilliant.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mumma. I am and would be nothing without you. My compassionate and loving sister and I are and would be nothing without you.

Happy Mother’s Day too, Mom. You make a word I never thought I could associate to someone else, roll off the tongue.

Happy Mother’s Day to my Ba’s (gone too soon), my Masi, my Fai, my Mamis, my Kakis. And Happy Mother’s Day to my friends’ moms who represent the village that raised me. Happy Mother’s Day to my sisters, through blood and (or) through my own sheer luck. Happy Mother’s Day to all of my amazing friends who have served as role models leading up to 1/12/2014 and now, beyond.

And Happy First Mother’s Day to the love of my life, my wife. I’ve always been awed by you. And the past few months have only proven that I’ve had every reason to be. Happy Mother’s Day. Happy, Happy, Happy Mother’s Day.

Leave a comment

Filed under #TMLFYI..., My $.02, PDA

PDA | Anaiya | Happy First Mother’s Day!

5H7A1709

 

(Photo by Shannon Christopher in Savannah, GA. Hire him if you’re down there.)

Hi Mumma,

I’m growing up fast aren’t I. I’m saying that here, to you, because I know if we even imply it around Daddy he’ll get teary eyed and cry (by the way, can we work on that?) It’s my last day as a three month old. Can you believe it?

It’s also your first Mother’s Day. It’s better if we make this post about you.

I know you can believe how fast I’m growing because you spend every day with me. I’ve been around for almost four months, and you’ve been around every single day since — but the truth is, you’ve been a Mom for much longer. There’s no denying it actually because it’s all documented in the book I wrote you on your birthday.

When I first wrote that I was still figuring things out, but the world makes more sense to me now. You. My Mommy, make more sense to me now. And watching you in action is the reason why I feel the most comfortable around you and in your arms. Sure, I love everyone I meet! We proved that in Savannah didn’t we? It’s hard for me not to like people when even random passersby say things like “she’s the absolute cutest” or “look at how happy she is.” But there i s nobody in the world like my Mommy.

I love when people look at me and comment on how happy I am. I wish I could get into the conversation with them (lord knows I’m trying) and tell them why!

It’s because of you. How you take care of me. How you play with me. How you feed me. How you put your whole world aside for me. How you take me out. How you help me see the world. How you take me to music class. How you play peek-a-boo by using the soles of my feet to cover your eyes. All of those things make me so happy, Mommy.

How could I not be happy? You sing Pharrell’s “Happy” to me at every waking moment. As an aside, I hope when I grow up, I’ll be able to sing like you. If not, I’ll be equally happy sitting back and watching you sing, just like Daddy does. And I’ll smile with him when you forget the words or just make up your own.

You’re a Mommy. You’re my Mommy. You’re the best Mommy I could have hoped for. And even though I’m only (almost) four months old, I want you to remember the most important thing ever. When I’m teething. When you’re sleep training me. When I’m just cranky because I’m a baby and I’m allowed to be. When I’m being stubborn and not letting you finish feeding me.

20140501_142410

I want you to remember that every single time I smile, it’s because you put me in position to. You made it all possible in the first place, and now you make it all possible every single day.

Smile with me, Mommy. You’ve earned it. Happy Mommy’s Day!

Love,

Your Munchkin

2014-05-03 19.15.59

Leave a comment

Filed under PDA

TMLFYI… | Rollin’

FINALLY! You started rolling so fast (5 weeks) we weren’t prepared. The first time you rolled over we actually didn’t believe it. So we put you back on some tummy time and wouldn’t you know it? You rolled again. I don’t care if you are ahead of the curve, on the curve, or behind the curve. In my eyes, you’ll be loved for being you, whoever you turn out to be and wherever that takes you. (There will be some expectations about the kind of person you are and the kind of effort you put in, but we don’t need to talk about that now. You also have it documented here for posterity so if I ever change, you can call me on it. Lucky. You.)

Ever since those back-to-back rolls we’ve been trying to capture your roll over in motion. We’ve come close. Sometimes my phone failed me. Sometimes my reflexes fail me. And sometimes you pump fake, back and forth on that roll so often that timing you on the turn is next to impossible.

The beauty of taking you to Savannah, little did we know, was that not only would the pace around us slow, so would your roll. (Slow your roll, girl!) I stood by your side with camera ready because I saw the roll coming. Like a vision. So I stood, camera pointed, and ready.

The results were beautiful, and as always, ended with your smile. I’m happy I caught this now because soon we’re going to focus on watching you turn the other way.

So today my love for you is on the rolliest of rolls. Keep on rollin’.

Roll 1

Roll 2

Roll 3

Roll 4

Roll 5

Roll 6

 

Heck of a finish, wonderful. Heck of a finish.

Leave a comment

Filed under #TMLFYI...

Trial & Error | Spiral Slicer | 15 Minute Breakfast

Spiral 4 I threw out my back a few days ago. Why? Because I’m old. And my body is about 20 years older than I am. It’s a good feeling to be only 39 but have all the aches, pains, and physical ailments of someone approaching retirement.

What that means is for the past three days I’ve been pretty worthless as a Dad. Priya’s had to do most of the work for Anaiya; I can sit and feed her, maybe change her, but really, I’m worthless.

I woke up this morning feeling a little better but still worthless. Priya was scrambling to get ready for a family event and I could do so little to help. Except try and make her breakfast. In her scramble to get through the morning she wasn’t going to eat. She wasn’t going to have time for it. I had to do what I could to help on this front. I looked at the new veggie spiral slicer I bought, saw one remaining potato, was inspired.

In 15 minutes I whipped up a solid breakfast and actually redeemed myself a little bit. A tad. The moral of this story? Buy a veggie spiral slicer. It’s amazing.

Eggs Over Easy, on Nested Hashbrowns

Ingredients

  • Potato (1)
  • Egg (1)
  • Salty Cheese (Feta, Parmesan, Asiago)
  • Olive Oil
  • Salt
  • Pepper

Directions

  • Prep your potato. If you have a spiral slicer, you’re talking about a minute of screwing the potato into Spiral 2the slicer. If you have a grater, you’re talking a little more time. I rinsed and scrubbed the potato, left the skin on, and got after it. In a minute, I had a pile of beautifully spiral shredded potato.
  • Get ready to cook. Get your frying pan out and get it cooking. No oil. Just heat the pan. Medium/high. When you get the pan on the heat take the potato in your hand and squeeze the crap out of it. Remove excess water. Best done in a cheese cloth or a light kitchen towel; but for one potato, hands are fine. Do it over the sink. Squeeze. Check the pan as it should now be hot. Add a Tbsp of olive oil, maybe less (with a hot pan, you need less oil since it thins and spreads more evenly more quickly due to the heat.)
  • Cook the potato. Lay the potato around the pan evenly. Make sure everything’s interconnected, like a bird’s nest. Cover. Reduce to medium heat. Let cook for about 5 minutes. Remove the cover. Turn the potato (it should flip all together at this point.) Add a little oil if you want and then cook open on medium heat for another 5 minutes.
  • Remove the potato and cook the egg. Slide the potato onto a plate and crack a little salt and pepper on it. Layer on the cheese. It should be a crispy nest at this point and the cheese will lightly melt but maintain it’s shape. Maintain the heat on the pan; no need to further oil it since you did a good job of that with the potato. I like the egg sunny side up; Priya likes it over easy. I split the difference. 🙂
  • Prep the plate. The egg should cook in about 2-3 minutes. Slide it onto the potato nest, crack a little more sea salt and pepper on top, and serve. It’s beautiful. Healthy. Simple. Filling. And it made Priya happy. Win. Win.

Spiral 3 Spiral 1

3 Comments

Filed under Trial & Error

My $.02 | Work | Revisiting the Past

Resumes are interesting things. I guess LinkedIn profiles even moreso. They highlight accomplishments. We’re all taught to write our bullet points and summaries in standard formats (like STAR – Situation, Tasks, Actions, Results.) I am not crying against convention here as there is substantive, material value in highlighting what you’ve done well and achieved.

But where is the standard for self-reflection? Where is the format for all of us to reflect upon our mistakes? To look at where we made mistakes? Where we could have done better? How can we get better at seeking disconfirming evidence and critical feedback, as opposed to succumbing to our narratives and stories of success?

Before taking on a new role I do my best to reach back out to individuals I’ve worked with in the past to ask for their feedback and guidance. I share my request broadly, and I ask for feedback candidly. And I’m always amazed at the responses and interest individuals take in responding and sharing their thoughts. Often I learn as much from the time they take as the words they actually share. In advance of starting my new job at LiveIntent, I was able to connect with a few individuals for this reason:

  • Former peer and head of corporate development
  • Former boss and CMO
  • Former boss and CEO
  • Former peer and President
  • Former boss turned client
  • Former COO
  • Former mentor

That makes for seven conversations with people who have worked with me at an executive capacity and were willing to take the time to sit down with me or hop on the phone and share their advice generally, and then directed specifically at the areas and opportunities I have for improvement. I can’t thank them enough. Here’s what I heard, loudly and clearly.

  • Listen more than you talk. I heard this several times and by digging deeper into it I discovered that the problem is very obviously twofold: 1) I need to get better at active listening, and 2) I need to do a better job of making it clear that I have heard what’s been shared with me. I have a host of excuses and perspectives that I feel compelled to share here, but it doesn’t change the fact that one of the most universal pieces of advice I heard was that I could improve “how” I listened.
  • Enough with the albatrosses. I take my work very seriously, and because of that, I carry my mistakes and the company’s mistakes with me, heavily. Though I do a good job of masking these (mostly) with my team I have been told that I can do a better job of handling these with respect to my peers and my bosses (notably the CEO.) I can’t thank a former CEO enough for this advice. It resonated loudly and actually set me free from some things that have stayed with me from past roles.
  • Think a level down AND a level up. A very strong pattern in my feedback sessions focused on how often I sided with my team. It was perhaps the most challenging piece of feedback to hear. I view a core tenet of my job to be supporting for, advocating for, and developing my team. But I need to continue to do a better job of finding balance between my team and the expectations of my role. One of the best pieces of advice I was given here was to think of my role as much from a level up as I practice doing from a level down. In the case of my role at LiveIntent, it’s as much about thinking about my job from the POV of our President and our CEO as it is about thinking of my role from the POV of my team.
  • Overcommunicate, and overcommunicate about overcommunicating. I tend to communicate to the level I believe I’m being heard. I’ve tried overcompensating on either side, by either assuming everything is being read or assuming nothing is (culture has dictated both.) But what I have to make sure I do is highlight the reason I’m communicating as much as I am and then validate that the audience finds it to be appropriate. And when in doubt. err on the side of more information and context while providing the recipient an easy out in the form of “here’s why I’m sharing, tell me if it’s too much or too little, and until you do, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing.”
  • Don’t stop having fun. When you feel it happening, find a way to reverse it. Walk around the block. Step back and take a day off. Tell your boss the way you’re feeling and why. But find a way to transparently share what’s happening and invite people in to help you get out of your rut. Because when you stop having fun, everyone around you knows it. And when everyone around you knows it, the slippery slope to negative momentum steepens and gets that much more slick.
  • Remember why you were hired. And if you’re not sure, ask the question up front. With every new role comes a new layer of accountability and ownership. Don’t outsource your brain, don’t compromise on your values, don’t confuse collaboration and input with democracy, don’t stop moving forward and don’t stop doing these kinds of things — asking questions to find out where you can improve. It’s all of these things that made you the ideal candidate for the role you’re stepping into (assuming you were honest throughout the interview process.) So when the chips are down, reflect back on why you were hired. And put all of those reasons back on display.

I can’t thank the folks who took some time to mold me, in the past, over time, and just these past few weeks. I am whatever and whoever I am today because of your influence. Hopefully, it’s something you take a little pride in.

LiveIntent, here I come. Better for the wear. Better for all the care.

Leave a comment

Filed under My $.02

My $.02 | Work | Guiding Principles

Tomorrow, 5/7, I take another step forward in my career when I join LiveIntent as CMO. It’s humbling. It’s an honor. Like any big move I’m motivated and excited about the challenge. And like any normal human being, I’m acutely aware that I have as much power to make things go well as I do to muck things up.

As I enter my new role, excited to work with this amazing group of people who found some value in my experiences and my person enough to invite me to join them, I took some time to reflect on some of my guiding principles. An exercise that served me well in my decision to leave my last role in search of a new one, and a decision that made it right to choose LiveIntent among my several competitive (and equally humbling) offers.

  • Progress to perfection must be a permanent exercise and should be a fruitless one. The world changes too much, and these days, also too quickly. If you’ve set yourself on the correct path, the final goal post should move farther out every time you look up to see how close you’ve gotten. When I look at what makes me happy, it’s clear that I find the permanence and pursuit of greater goals to be more motivating than I find the fruitless nature of them to be demotivating. Per James Thurber, I prefer to be the moth in pursuit of the star as opposed to the siblings in pursuit of a street lamp.
  • Maintain perspective and context by balancing confidence with humility. There are no stupid clients and there are no arrogant teams. There is merely a commitment to a lack of context and introspection. In any situation it is important that you understand the role you play in the lives of the people you serve — whether it be your employees, your clients, your investors professionally, your family and friends personally, or the world and the environment around you as a citizen. Maintain context. Because inflating your own value in your own eyes will make you miss the bigger picture and the opportunities around you, while also making you come across as foolish when all is said and done.
  • Be just as willing to act as you are to espouse. People are increasingly given platforms to share their thoughts. I believe this opportunity (from social media to document sharing to ill-timed meetings) has created a culture of conversation but not of action. As I look back at the people who have helped me and the people who I have enjoyed working with the most, it is not those who tell the greatest stories (stories can always change, stories can always extend — Hollywood has proven that with the sequel.) I find myself gravitating most toward those who work and deliver, and have committed myself to always being the one to bell-the-cat.
  • If you’re given the option, choose being clear over being clever. There’s no fable here. These are the words of my Jivan Mama, one of the strongest mentors in my life. When I was young and we were at dinner together, I used to just listen to him talk about how he approached his life and his work. One of the best pieces of advice I received from him was his desire to always be perceived as clear. I don’t think I do this nearly well enough, but boy do I want to. The moral of the story here is about where you focus. If you focus on being clever, you’re playing a game. Your energy, and the energy of everyone around you, is then focused on the playing the game as well. But by being clear, and by eliminating noise, you shift your focus from day-to-day gamesmanship and instead, focus on the outcomes. When you’re clear, nobody has to worry about what you’re thinking, what your priorities are, or how things will be received — everyone can instead focus on the task itself and the desired outcome.

There is no shortage of morals or lessons learned to pull from as I start my new role at LiveIntent. I’ll be posting one more on lessons learned from the past. But on this Tuesday morning, less than 24 hours before I start, these four bullets are the ones I find myself settling on with the greatest conviction. Looking forward to starting my new job, and to continuing to get better.

Leave a comment

Filed under My $.02

TMLFYI… | Grand

We are wrapping up our first vacation, my love. I am about to start a new job on Wednesday and so we decided to take some time and travel to a place where the people have really figured something out. We came to Savannah. Where the pace of the world is just perfect. The food is out of this world. And people are exceptional, taking Southern Charm to new heights (and our spirits right along with them.) There are few places where the host at a restaurant can set your mood for the whole day on such a rockin’ first step that it would take multiple acts of God to change course.

And wouldn’t you know it? You fit right in. You brought all of your magic with you from LGA and unleashed it upon this beautiful southern city like they have never seen. From the neighbors on our flight, to the people in line at Mrs. Wilkes. From the bellmen at the Forsyth and the Westin, to the wait staff at every restaurant from Local 11 Ten Food & Wine to The Olde Pink House. From the wedding party who saw me walking circles around the lobby to the random members of the International Oil Spill Conference 2014 who realized that my job as your dad trumped their wildest dreams 10 times to Sunday.

You.

Brought.

Magic.

To everyone who saw you. To everyone who was lucky enough to be within earshot of your gurgles and sight of your smile. You make life grand, my genius, every single day for those who know you. But this vacation, you made life grand for everyone you came across. And for that reason, we could not have been more honored to be your parents.

Life is grand. Love is grand. Ain’t it? You be the judge.

IMG_1795

IMG_1802

IMG_1872

IMG_1854

IMG_1830

IMG_1881

Leave a comment

Filed under #TMLFYI...

Trial & Error | Crock Pot | Eggplant and Portobello Parmesan

Another crock pot recipe for those who care. I’ve actually made versions of this recipe before; but I wanted to see if I could make it in a crock pot. Set it and forget it. It’s typically a high set up, high maintenance, customized presentation piece — a variation of this recipe is what I used as my cook to impress dating recipe.

It worked on my wife so I feel like it was fairly well perfected. Now I needed to figure out how to cook this thing as a husband and a Dad. The game changed. It’s about volume, speed, efficiency, all without compromising taste.

Umm … nailed it?

Summary

I don’t usually start with a summary but for this dish it feels like the right move. The dish stacks up as follows. Layers of eggplant, tofu ricotta, and portobello caps separated by a homemade tomato basil sauce.

WARNING

I just made this up as I went along but the dish should play out well as recreated below. For example, I thought about the pesto at the very last minute, so I whipped it up based on what I had in the house (spinach, walnuts.) I make this dish to taste … so taste everything before you assemble!

Total Ingredient List

  • Eggplant (1 Large)
  • Mushroom Caps (5)
  • Silken Tofu (1 Brick)
  • Parmesan Cheese (Shaved)
  • Crushed San Marzano Tomatoes (32 ounces)
  • Fresh Basil (1 Bunch)
  • Spinach (1 Bag)
  • Pine Nuts or Walnuts (1 Bag)
  • Olive Oil
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Crushed Red Pepper
  • Garlic (4 cloves, 4 Tbsps Minced)
  • Other Cheeses (optional for a layer and for topping)

Preparation 1: Vegetables

  • Eggplant – Slice them however you want. Lengthwise. In circles. The goal is to leave the skin on, leave them at equal thickness, and enable yourself to cover the entire base of your crockpot. I went with circles for a majority and then cut some of the remaining circles into half circles to fill in the gaps. Salt them generously on either side and leave them on a paper towel for 25 minutes. You’re sweating out the water. Walk away. Walk. Away.
  • Mushrooms – Clean the heck out of the caps. Lightly season them with salt and pepper. Lightly brush them with olive oil. Bake them on 350 for 15 minutes. Expect them to sweat out quite a bit of water so get a plan with some lip. After these have cooked, save the excreted mushroom water in a separate bowl and then put the Mushrooms on a plate, covered.
  • Eggplant Revisited – Brush off the salt and sop up the water (paper towels are fine) then prepare them as you would the Mushrooms, but be a little more generous with the olive oil. Bake them at 350 for 25 minutes.
  • Move on to the tofu and the sauce.

Preparation 2: Blender

  • Tomato Sauce – Easy peasy. Coat a saucepan with olive oil. Pour in the tomatoes and the mushroom water. Season to taste (salt, pepper, crushed red pepper, handful of basil leaves diced, 1 clove of garlic.) Let it simmer a bit. Toss all of this into a blender and get it to the consistency you’re looking for. Taste it and make sure you like it. Consider lemon juice, sugar, or more tomato depending on how the flavor is working for you. Rinse out the blender. You’re going to need it.
  • Tofu Ricotta – Easy peasy, but you’ll need a spatula and some blender shaking experience. Crush the silken tofu to as fine a paste as you can with a fork. Toss in a half a bunch of basil. 4 Tbsps of Olive Oil. 1 clove of garlic, Salt, Pepper and Crushed Red Pepper to taste. Blend it. It should come out the consistency somewhere between a small curded ricotta and a smooth cream sauce. If you’re having difficulty blending it, feel free to add a little bit of water to get the blades whirring. Taste it and make sure you’re comfortable with the taste. This is a texture layer so you should like it but keep the flavor in context of the full dish.
  • Pesto – Take the spinach, the remaining basil and garlic,  equal parts olive oil, walnuts/pine nuts (1 cup), and parmesan, and season to taste (salt and pepper.) Blend. Taste and adjust until you like it. Set aside.

Preparation 3: Assembly

You’ve not got all the components together; it’s time to assemble.

  1. Use 2 Tbsp of Olive Oil to coat the bottom and sides of the crock pot. A spray is fine as a base but use the OO for texture and flavor.
  2. Add a layer of sauce. Then lay down the eggplant on top of the sauce. Cut pieces to ensure you have full coverage.
  3. Spoon and spread pesto over eggplant. Make sure the eggplant is well covered.
  4. Add another layer of sauce on top of the pesto. Keep it thin but make use of it. Consider addint a layer of parmesan here (or any cheese if you’re interested; it’s not necessary.)
  5. Add the mushroom caps. Distribute them the same way you distributed the eggplant. Try and cover the full pot; get creative with how you cut the mushrooms to get there.
  6. Add a final layer of sauce. Top the sauce with parmesan cheese.
  7. Cover. Cook on high for 3 hours. Every hour or so remove the lid and put a knife into the center to see how everything is cooking together. If the sauce is getting too thick, add a little water around the sides of the pot (1/4 cup, no more.)
  8. After cooking, remove the pot from the cooking unit and let set for 20 minutes. Top with basil leaves ribboned if you’d like. But otherwise, you’re ready to eat.

When you’re done, this is heavenly. You can eat it on its own, serve it over pasta, or put it in a sandwich. You’ll enjoy it.

Leave a comment

Filed under Trial & Error

TMLFYI… | Musical

Anaiya Music Pano

Not in a hip hop way. Like when nobody’s around and I drop lyrics on you in a flow that isn’t disruptive to your eardrums without compromising
the integrity of the song (good hip hop like good folk music can withstand changes to music, IMHO.)

Today my love for you is musical in a kiddie musical kind of way. Why? Because Mommy took you and me to our first music class today. Wow, were you adorable. First off, you were the youngest by a mile. The closest was Alton who’s 10 months old. After that, everyone was in — gulp — YEARS!

Anaiya Music

But you held your own my baby. The interesting thing for me was that we showed up and you were already in sleep mode. Yawning on the stroller ride over. Full stomach in tow. I mean, these were prime sleeping conditions for you. But we got there, and the music was playing, and the teacher was singing, and you were all about it. Not a peep. Not a tear. Maybe a yawn or two. But otherwise, you were invested in this class. Sitting on your Mommy’s lap (let it be known that I was the only Daddy within miles of this class.) 

You love music, baby. You love when your Mom sings “Happy” to you. You love when your Fia sings to you (just about anything.) You love when certain music plays in the background. And though nobody really knows it, you actually enjoy it when I’m rapping to you. So this makes sense.

But you also don’t always do things that make sense. Like when you fight sleep and shake your head to keep yourself awake. That doesn’t make sense. It’s awesome and adorable and cruel to watch at the same time. But it doesn’t make any sense.

You know what makes sense though? You loving this moment as much as I did.

Leave a comment

Filed under #TMLFYI...