It is one of…nix that — it is my favorite word on the planet. Have you ever had one? Have you ever had a “Ba”? If not? You missing out!!! Ba means “dad’s mom” in so many ways. But when you are me…it also means the highest form of royalty. It means that person who loves unconditionally. It means that person who values honestly. It means unwavering commitment. Ba’s give the purest love.
Today we lost our “last” Ba. Early in the dat. She was magic. Not the magic I confer on my kids. Which is granted. But the magic I give to my … heroes. Which is just… earned. Every time I saw her she made me feel like I was a character straight out of Marvel or D.C. This Ba was worth every memory. I will cry myself to sleep for … a bit. But move on quickly. Because Ba would have wanted me to massage her head and love on. Move on. But know, Ba, I love you. And carry you forwards. It’s all my meager poor self can do.
#iamgrateful and #iamthankful for all those memories and that you made me think I had healing hands, while it was really your head and heart doing all that healing. Today is what it is. Your memory. Which is, all good hOmie! #whogottaba
Van Worst Park is such a simple pleasure. When we moved to Jersey City, we couldn’t quite justify living on the water, so we paid attention to a Realtor who told us that if we can’t get the water in JC, we should be happy with a park. It’s a solid park. But it turned into something special earlier this afternoon.
The weather was nice. We were headed into winter and the fact that it was nice outside (meaning we could go outside without fearing you’d hate us for a few hours after the fact) meant that we had to go outside. You’re an outdoor baby. It calms you. I feel like your happiness is directly correlated to the number of leaves you see around you — maybe with a bit of sunshine factored in.
It’s always been that way, though. From the moment we could take you outside, if we did, you were happier. Taking it all in. Looking around you. Observing. Reaching. The first thing I ever saw you reach for was a leaf. And you went for it. Like you do everything. You saw. You committed. And you went for it.
The park on this beautiful late Fall day was no different. We strolled. You did some slide work. Pulled yourself up to a lovely outdoor abacus. And life was grand. But nothing compared to you on that swing. It was freedom. You were seated. And you were experiencing. No fear. No matter how excited I got and how hard I pushed. You smiled on your way to us and on your way back. Sheer happiness.
I’d like to get a swing installed in every room in our condo. What do you think? My guess if you could respond? Weeeeeeeeeeeeee! Which totally explains my love for you today, munchkin. It was as exhilarating to watch you on that swing as it has been for me to take loops at Great Adventure.
I enjoy our weekends. On most weekend days I get to wake up with you in the morning, give your Mom the opportunity to sleep in a little, and get some dedicated time alone with you. Any time alone with you is a win for me.
We do a little bit of talking. We do a little bit of exercising. We do a little bit of playing. We do a little bit of going outside. (Note: You love dogs. When I walk you around either in Jersey City or Edison, we’re bound to see dogs walking their owners early in the morning, and you reach for them, play with them, completely unfazed, and completely engrossed.) We do a little bit of a lot. And I love every second.
This past Saturday morning you were obsessed with a video of you on Daddy’s phone. So I had a good time balancing getting you some exercise with basically, having you chase yourself in Selfie mode. You were a monster. And it’s all documented.
I love your energy. I love your conviction. I love your resilience. This is everything we’ve known about you from the day you were born, encapsulated in a single video. It’s more than your pursuit of something, it’s your happiness and commitment to that pursuit throughout. Unwavering.
I am willing to wager that over time, we’ll see more and more efforts like this from you. And it’s our job to make sure you maintain that energy to pursue, and find a way to remain happy while you do.
FINALLY! You started rolling so fast (5 weeks) we weren’t prepared. The first time you rolled over we actually didn’t believe it. So we put you back on some tummy time and wouldn’t you know it? You rolled again. I don’t care if you are ahead of the curve, on the curve, or behind the curve. In my eyes, you’ll be loved for being you, whoever you turn out to be and wherever that takes you. (There will be some expectations about the kind of person you are and the kind of effort you put in, but we don’t need to talk about that now. You also have it documented here for posterity so if I ever change, you can call me on it. Lucky. You.)
Ever since those back-to-back rolls we’ve been trying to capture your roll over in motion. We’ve come close. Sometimes my phone failed me. Sometimes my reflexes fail me. And sometimes you pump fake, back and forth on that roll so often that timing you on the turn is next to impossible.
The beauty of taking you to Savannah, little did we know, was that not only would the pace around us slow, so would your roll. (Slow your roll, girl!) I stood by your side with camera ready because I saw the roll coming. Like a vision. So I stood, camera pointed, and ready.
The results were beautiful, and as always, ended with your smile. I’m happy I caught this now because soon we’re going to focus on watching you turn the other way.
So today my love for you is on the rolliest of rolls. Keep on rollin’.