Author Archives: Suneet

My $.02 | No Father’s Day Required

I’m happy to share one and celebrate one on everyone else’s behalf, but I don’t want one. I don’t need one. I don’t deserve one. What’s more important is how we interact with each other every single day for the rest of our lives. How I make you feel. How you feel because of how you’re treated and loved. And the highest expectations in the world that I hope you have of me.

  • Tell me when you don’t feel as loved as you need to feel, munchkin. And I’ll listen. If I’m being consistent and transparent about my love for you, I will know, based on the confidence you have in yourself and in everything you do.
  • Tell me when I’m putting too much pressure on you, munchkin. And I’ll listen. If I’m being fair with you, I will know, based on the happiness you express in your smile and your actions every single day.
  • Tell me when I’m being too easy on you, munchkin. And I’ll listen. If I am inspiring you to be better, then I’ll know by the goals and standards you set for yourself.
  • Tell me when I’m being too hard on you, munchkin. And I’ll listen. If I’m supporting you the right way, then I’ll know by the manner in which you do the things you do.
  • Tell me when I’ve disappointed you, munchkin. And I’ll listen. If I want you to trust me, I will know, based on the increasing faith you place in my perspective and counsel.

I don’t need a Father’s Day. I don’t want a Father’s Day. I want you to have the ability to tell me, every single day, where and how I can be a better Father. And I will celebrate you as a daughter, an exceptionally loved daughter, every single day, based on the baby, girl, and woman you become over the years.

No day required. Just you. Just this.

Tutu

 

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TMLFYI… | A Teardrop

ANAIYA--TearAbsolute silliness, the world will tell me. But it works for me. It’s obviously not sustainable nor is it remotely realistic. I’ve actually already failed.

But I’ve committed to myself that when I’m around you and you cry, I will drink your tears. By holding you in my arms, by squeezing you like nothing else in the world matters, and by slurping whatever teardrops are rolling down your cheeks with an insatiability I wish I could direct to all aspects of my life.

“Daddy drinks your tears.”

So today my love for you is a teardrop. It has worked so far. And I’m willing to do it for as long as it works, and I’m willing to try it for the rest of your life if there’s a chance it will work ever again.

That’s fatherhood, I guess. From where I stand right now, that’s an example of fatherhood.

I love you, munchkin.

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My $.02 | Family and Handoffs

What a great family weekend in the Poconos. We haven’t spent nearly enough time with the family, which means you, my loveliest of little ones, haven’t built that connect yet either. We’ll get better about it. There’s no choice. These are the people who raised me and every single person in one of the following pictures has had such a profound influence on my life, it’s disappointing to me how little time you’ve actually spent with them. That is on me to fix.

I can talk about the Poconos in so many ways. A few highlights:

  • Dadaji being your formal stroller pusher. He likes predictability and schedules. And now he’s got one very clear place to own the relationship with you.
  • Dadiji filled with pride. When you smile. When you turn. When you eat. When you do anything, I swear I can see her heart swell from the outside in.
  • Dadi Naniji. One of the sweetest and most purely loving people in the world doing what she does best with everyone, with you — loving.
  • Hitu Dada Mama. One of the quirkiest members of the family and one who will undoubtedly become one of your favorites. He’s always behind the scenes but he’s always there. Like in the pictures…never the subject, always enabling. And he was the first one to hold you each morning because he was awake, there, and waiting. Like he always is.
  • Charu Dadi Mami. She’s going to make you stronger and she’s going to make you laugh. And she’s also going to make you famous with her photography. With so many boys around, she’s one reason you’ll be spoiled and supported unconditionally.
  • Chetu Dada Mama. The baby whisperer. You already have some amazing photos with him but they don’t capture his thirst for life. His will be a pair of arms and a lap that you will always gravitate to — every child does.
  • Prity Dadi Mami. She fought hard to have you sleep in her room but we were silly parents about it. 🙂 It happens. She’s  the one who made this weekend happen and you’ll see, that when family events happen, she’s such a powerful glue. She was the first person to welcome your mom to this side of the family.Massage
  • Tito Foi. If there’s a person who loves you and thinks about you more, please let us know. She gave you one of the longest, most relaxing, and most public (there was quite an audience) massages you’ll ever have. Expect more such pampering through eternity.
  • Suraj Kaka. The human jungle gym. Not just for kids, for adults too. It was his first time meeting you but you can see the love in his eyes. You’ll always be protected when he’s there. He’s truly all heart.
  • Holly Aunty. For many of us, the first time meeting her, so you were in no different a place. But she embraced you the right way, and you’re going to have a friend for life in that one — for now though, we’ll jus tfocus on commenting on each other’s Facebook walls. 🙂
  • Sohum Kaka. Daddy’s older brother. He’s off to San Francisco to become Teacher Man, and do what he does best — make other people better. I couldn’t be happier that he got time with you before he left. You know, he was the first baby Daddy actually remembers holding and changing diapers for?
  • Neil Kaka. Swoon. That’s what most people do around him and I’m sure this time will be no different. But I think, he’s met his match. And you can see it in his face and the way he talks about you to his friends. The swooning is going the other way. And you know he’s made so many trips to see you here in Jersey City — though maybe it’s because of Daddy’s fridge, too?
  • Eeshan Kaka. He took you to your first coffee shop, you know. Eeshan Kaka is saving the world starting with North Carolina, so it was great to make sure you got extended time with him here. He’s got a mind and brainpower that reinforces your pedigree — and compensates for Daddy in so many ways.
  • Amu Kaka. He’s been the same personality since he was 12 months old — and it’s bound to be one of your favorites. We’re going to drive down to visit Kaka while he’s at Delaware, and we’re going to let him carry you and push the stroller. Because that’s a great way to pick up girls. The problem might be, that based on how he looks at you (and tweets about you), he may miss all the action around him.

That’s part of your family, munchkin. Look at all that love. And if it’s hard for you to read all this, maybe it’s better for you to check out the pictures below. One of my favorite goodbyes. As a man who has struggled with goodbyes for ages (one of the best parts of my childhood were when your Dada Mama’s used to come visit almost every Friday, one of the worst parts of my childhood were when they would leave on Sunday) this brought me to tears. Every person having their own unique moment with you. Every person smiling at you smiling back.

It’s the one thing I think everyone in the world needs more of. It’s the one thing I want most for you: to feel loved. Always. Unconditionally.

As your family hugged you, kissed you, reinforced their love for you, and then passed you along to the next in line, I couldn’t help but feel certain that you are one who’s loved in ways that go beyond any form of measurement. And that, makes Mommy and me, the happiest people in the world.

Now, to the handoff!

Holly

Suraj

1-Nani

2

3

4

5

7

8

9

10

11

 

Feeling loved?

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TMLFYI… | Reach

Anaiya--ReachDoes this qualify as the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in my life? If not, it’s close. It’s darn close.

Your amazing Mom, as usual, woke up this morning with you and took care of you while Daddy shook off the lingering effects of a night out with some friends. I pushed my wake up from 6:45 to 7:45 and the extra hour was necessary.

I came down refreshed and ready to head out to work, but then things got interesting. You were on your playmat, your once favorite playmat now turned least favorite place to be playmat, so your fussiness (I say fussiness by your standards recognizing that for any other being in the world, it would qualify as mild, borderline unnoticeable, discomfort) was expected. But what happened after changes how I will se the world for the rest of my life.

You reached out for me.

You were uncomfortable on the mat. Your mom picked you up. And you stayed a little uncomfortable.

Then you looked at me and you reached your hand out to me. You wanted Daddy. I took you, and you stopped fussing. You were happy. I was over the moon. And your mom was gracious — because she does all the work and yet somehow, you still wanted me.

It’s a beautiful moment. When I handed you back to Mom so I could head off to work you looked back at me and reached out. Again. Which is the shot I caught on camera here. The original moment is captured in a more permanent and easy-to-reference place: my heart. For the rest of time.

Today my love for you is best defined by reach. I’ll never forget your face when you started, and your calm when I held you. The most perfect of father-daughter moments, and the first of many to come I’m sure. 

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Trial & Error | Dessert | Chocolate Covered Strawberry Bread Pudding

I had a really special motivation for giving a sweet, bread pudding a shot. I’ve made savory ones. I was actually supposed to make a savory one to accompany this. But instead, I screwed up the recipe by going a little too rogue and a little too Colin Mochrie, and improvising my way from a bread pudding to a mini casserole. Tasty. But not a savory tomato, basil bread pudding.

Thankfully, this recipe isn’t about that recipe. It’s about my own take on a bringing a chocolate covered strawberry to life in the form of a bread pudding. I think with an iteration or too, this can improve. But from concept to dish, I’m pretty happy with it. I hope the beneficiary finds some comfort in the ultimate of comfort desserts, as well.

The key thing for me was making this taste like a chocolate covered strawberry–which means for all the decadent chocolate, there had to be an underlying fruitiness and tartness in contrast. How’d I achieve it? By making the custard, and then stirring in a blended, half-a-basket of fresh strawberries (with a touch of sugar and milk to keep the blades whirring.

Here’s the full recipe with some photos.

Ingredients

  • Bread. I can’t tell you how important the bread is. I had a whole wheat that I was going to work with but then I saw a chocolate cranberry at Whole Foods and went for it. Game. Changer. Get creative with your bread since it dominates the dish. (12 cups)
  • Eggs (6)
  • Milk (3 cups)
  • Chocolate Chips (1 Bag)
  • Strawberries (16 Large)
  • Sugar
  • Salt
  • Butter
  • Casserole Dishes (2, one that can fit inside of the other)

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 200 degrees.
  2. Cut the bread. Most folks I’ve spoken to about bread pudding go with 1″ cubes. For dessert? I say go with 1/4″ to 1/2″ because you have more flexibility on the presentation (muffin tins, casserole dishes, etc.) Lay them flat on a cookie sheet and bake for 10 minutes at 200 degrees. The goal is to dry out the bread, not necessarily cook it.
  3. Prep your strawberries. Cut half of the bunch into odd size chunks that you can stir throughout the pudding. Take the other half and put them into a blender and whir like the Dickens. This should be straight puree; something you can fold into the custard base for your pudding. Taste it when whirred. If you like it, great. If you want more tart, add lemon. If you want more sweet, add sugar. You get the drift. If you want more of something, screw nature and make it taste the way you want it to.
  4. Get your base ready. There are so many ways to make bread pudding. The easiest way for me to remember how to go about it is to think ratios: 1 cup milk to 2 eggs (1 full egg, 1 yolk only) to 3 cups bread. For this recipe, you see the ratio in the Ingredients above. Put them in a bowl. I don’t think you need any other flavoring here but if you want to toss in some sugar, salt, lemon, vanilla, and even a shot or two of bourbon, have at it. Once these ingredients are together, froth it like your favorite barista — a hand or immersion blender is your bff at this point. Blend first without the strawberry puree, and then do a second blend after pouring in the puree. This is the genius of my recipe. Strawberry all up in this house now.
  5. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. That gets its own step so you can check it off quickly and feel like you’re really moving at this point. Kind of like driving through Delaware on a trip to Florida. (“Really, we just crushed one whole state?”)
  6. Grease a baking dish (9×12) to start. Put in the bread. Go one layer. Then add diced strawberries and chocolate chips. Then slowly pour your base over the bread (about half used), making sure you spread evenly. Add another layer of bread, and repeat. Once done, let this stuff sit and soak for about 40 minutes (stirring gently at 20 and then again, gently, at 40.) At this point, you’re ready to bake. If you want to take this mixture and spoon it into muffin tins, go nuts. Spoon like nobody’s watching.
  7. Bake it. But cuddle it a little. Take the larger casserole dish and fill it 1/4 with water. Then rest the stuff you’re cooking in that water bath. Ban Marie. Great for terrines and custards, though the truth is, I’ve never made a terrine so the web could completely be lying to me. You’ll want to go at it for about 50 minutes straight. Slide the Ban Marie out, stick a knife in the center of the pudding and see if it comes out clean of everything other than chocolate. If it does, it’s ready. If it doesn’t keep cooking until it does. I had to go for 75 minutes because I went with a deeper dish. Variables. They change things you know?
  8. Let it set. When done, take it out of the oven and let it cool for 20. Then eat it in the best way possible — your way. I prefer taking the pudding out in a square and crisping the base on a skillet. Super wild contrast in flavors and textures at that point. But I don’t need or expect you to get it.

That’s the good word. I think it was a good bread pudding. I’d probably flavor the custard a bit more, be prepared to soak up some more of the custard with some additional bread, and perhaps think of a legit topping (strawberry glaze? more chocolate? powdered sugar?) I’ll let you know if I do by editing this in the future but my guess is, I won’t.

Pictures below to follow along if you’re interested.

Bread

Bread

 

Bread Baked

Bread 2

Strawberry

Strawberry

Custard Base (with Strawberry Tint)

Custard Base with Strawberry Tint

First Layer Assembled

Layer

Layer Closeup

Layer close up

Final Product

(Note: I forgot to take a picture of this before I packed it for hand-off to a friend. It had to be storage ready so go ahead, hate me for crappy presentation. It will taste great and you’ll hate yourself for hating on me.)

Finish

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TMLFYI… | A 7.5 out of 8

7.5. Ounces. If you’re not a parent or haven’t been around young’uns this makes no darn sense to you. But if you are, or if you have been, and you see your ~13lb 4.5 month old go to town on a bottle of formula like she was battling Kobayashi on Coney Island, well — you’d write about it too. And if you didn’t have a blog, you’d get one. And if the right name wasn’t available, you’d search WHOIS and make an offer on the name you wanted. And if they didn’t respond, you’d wait. A little while, and then come up with something creative as a substitute that ended up being better than your first idea.

All because your kid took down 7.5 ounces (out of 8) at a time when her best performance to date hovered around 6.

Next stop, the moon.

Today my love for you is insatiable, but in a very literal way. Love you my doughnut (we’ll go back to munchkin tomorrow, but based on your performance, doughnut just feels so much more right.)

Anaiya Food

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TMLFYI… | Inked

Tattoo 1“MOM” your arm read. This is how we ink in our family, with the ultimate tribute to your favorite person.Tattoo 2 Given your general sense of calm, I’m fairly certain you would sleep through an actual tattoo just as easily as you did this, temporary kind.

Though let’s not get in any rush to figure that out.

Today my love for you is straight up inked. I also couldn’t be happier with your choice of tribute.

Happy Birthday to Blaise, who was kind enough to throw a party where tattoos were an option. And thanks to your Rosemary Masi for not yelling at us for leaving the party before we got to see their new house. In due time. You needed to let your tattoo heal … it was an exhausting day for you as the picture indicates.

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TMLFYI… | Conversational

From the moment you were born, I knew you had something to share with the world. Silly me for thinking you’d wait until you had some words to piece together before attempting to do so first.

I am an absolute sucker for baby talk. I get it from my Mom. Nobody in my house (except for my Dad, your Dadaji) talks to my mom in a normal voice full-time. There’s always a softening of the voice because that’s what she does to people.

What I find interesting is that the second we talk to you in a baby voice you decide not to participate. But when adults are having a normal conversation, you want nothing more than to be a part of it.

Why? Because you’re a genius and because you have something supremely valuable to add to the conversation. We now know better. So today my love for you is all about the conversation. Looking forward to anything and everything you have to share, for the rest of my life.

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TMLFYI… | Footloose

We’ve been blessed, my love. We’ve had the fantastic fortune of catching you at two very unique and powerful firsts: the first time you laughed out loud, and the first time we caught you discovering your feet. Not noticing they exist. But actually playing with them. Exploring them. Discovery in the purest sense of the word.

I’m not sure who was more mesmerized by the experience. You? The finder of said feet. Or your mom and I, creators of you, who I now consider the Jane Goodall of feet. See video for evidence.

Some highlights?

  • :05 – When you get after your foot with both hands.
  • :13 – When we make eye contact – because that’s always a highlight and always will be.
  • :27 – When your mom calls out the fact that you’re going to put your foot in your mouth.
  • :45 – When prove your mom to be prophetic and try to put your foot in your mouth.
  • :53 – When you discover you have a second foot.

So today my love for you is all about feet. Maybe I’ll never say that again? But my guess is that with you, all rules go out the window.

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TMLFYI … | Laughter

Tomorrow I leave for San Francisco. I am going to miss you guys like hell. But thankfully, you took some of the sting out of my trip. How? By deciding that you were going to laugh out loud tonight.

I’ll smile on my flight, throughout the day, and in my sleep … for days thinking about this laugh.

Today my love for you is all laughter. This is the greatest sound I’ve ever heard in my life.

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