(Note: The gist of this post was notated on my phone on January 12th, but I wasn’t able to actually put some words to it until January 27th. Excuse the delay. It also ended up lacking the powerful feeling and sentiments that I had welled up inside of me the moment Anaiya was born. There was no way to recapture the power of that moment in words, and frankly, not enough time to do it justice. So I gave myself one shot to stream of consciousness my way through it, and move on so I can start writing about my daughter in the moment.)
A daughter.
It’s amazing how many people told us we were having a boy. I’m not sure if it reflects gender bias or a lack of predictive proficiency. I’m not sure if it’s cultural. I’m not sure if it’s proof that people sometimes just need something to say. But boy (see what I did there) were they wrong.
A daughter.
We couldn’t be happier. And we couldn’t be less important. 🙂
Your mom went to hell and back for sixty-two hours. She then had about four hours of relaxation time — medically induced. But after that everything is a blur for me. I know the world started making room for you at about 1:33 on Sunday January 12th, and I know that at 2:04, you forced yourself into this world and went straight to your mom’s chest for skin-to-skin time. What was amazing though is that as much as mom wanted to cuddle and bond with you, you wanted to take the world in. You were moving your head from side-to-side. You didn’t want to miss a thing. Your timing and priorities couldn’t have been more appropriate.
It started with your Naniji. Did you know she was in the delivery room when you first met the world? She got to hold your Mommy’s hand and be there for her, so your Mommy could be focused on you. Kind of neat how that worked out, huh? She even got to feed your Mommy a popsicle (grape, believe it or not, but sugar-free of course because of that stupid @#$&*! gestational diabetes.) Just like your Naniji knows exactly how to be there, she also knows exactly how not to be there. As soon as she saw that you were ok and Mom was ok, she vanished. And we were none the wiser. You’ll notice that about her.
After we got you cleaned-up, Ba-ji and Dadaji came to meet you. Tears. That pretty much explains it. Your Ba-ji stepped right in to hold you. You’re in for it with her. Every second since the moment she first met you she has been unable to see anything else. Just your face. Your Dadaji is less hands on and more hovering. He wants to make sure you’re ok EVERY SINGLE MOMENT. So he’ll walk past you, walk over to you, and walk near you. Sometimes holding you, but mostly, making sure everyone else is taking care of you.
Then Naniji and Nanaji made their way in to meet you, met with a similar response. Could anyone be happier? I already told you about your Naniji. But your Nanaji, now there’s a character. The rest of us are so sensitive to everything you do. Nanaji already has you talking and socializing. That’s what he does. That’s why everyone likes to talk to him.
Tita Fai and Deepal Mama were next. Tita Fai, well, she’s basically a crier. So she’s going to hug you and love you, but don’t be surprised if she has tears in her eyes every time she sees you pretty much for the rest of your life. You’ll get used to it. Carry Kleenex. Deepal Mama is your protector. You get many “Mamas” but you get one true “Mama.” He’s going to spoil you rotten at everyone else’s expense (actually … technically at his $expense$, and we’re totally fine with that.)
The fun don’t stop and won’t stop there. You met the first of your (many) Dada Mama’s, Chetan Dada Mama came in to see you. You’ll get used to his jokes (maybe) but he’s going to end up being one of your favorite people. He does that to everyone, kids, adults, random strangers at restaurants.
You had the most profound affect on everyone around you. With one glance, everyone’s life had changed for the better the moment you were born. But none moreso than your mom and I. We went from being children, to being parents. And we went from living our lives for us, to living our lives for you.
One day, this will sink in for you. On Sunday, January 12th, we went from being in the foreground of our own lives, to being the backdrop for everything you are and will become. Your mom and I embrace that. We feel lucky and inspired. Making sure everyone can bask in the sunbeams shooting out of your face, falling in love with all of you that is so lovely.
Today, my sunshine, my love for you is fully and completely in the background. We wouldn’t have it any other way.
Suneet Bhatt 