Tag Archives: breathing

0 DAYS WITHOUT INCIDENT or I SUCKED TODAY, AND IT HAPPENS

From the moment the kids struggled to go to bed last night I had prepared myself for a tough morning.

As a parent, you know the delicate interdependency of moments. This staying up late moment is a short term concession that will make sleepytime tougher, likely make them tired in the morning, and make anything through at least lunch a battle.

So I prepared for it. Went to bed early. Woke up before them. Took all my breaths this AM. Had breakfast stuff ready to go.

All before they woke.

And I still screwed it up. I tried to cut through their behavior 15 different ways but by 11am (geez, just thinking of that short fuse is a level of guilt I won’t shake for a while) I had lost it. Separating them. Reading to them. Playing with them. Making them change their clothes again to reset the day.

In the 3 minutes between finishing a chapter in The Tale or Despereaux and starting to unpack a volcano gift the kids devolved into the worst side of Cobra Kai and I snapped. At a booming level that I’m sure is still bouncing around in their skulls.

I was overconfident today. There’s a lot going on and I wasn’t kind enough or honest enough with myself to give myself space. To let them hop on the TV. Or do their iPads when nothing else was working.

They didn’t need the space. Maybe I did?So here we stand. It’s 1pm. And I’ve conceded the day.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful … that tomorrow is a new day. Sometimes, the best part about increments of time is knowing that the increment you’re in, is soon over and permanently behind you.

May be a cartoon of food and text that says 'DAYS WITHOUT ACCIDENT'

For all our complaints about time moving relentlessly forward, it’s days like today that I can’t help but be thankful.

4 counts in

7 counts hold

8 counts out

All we can do is acknowledge it, give ourselves space, and get better.

Update: I shared this because I know we’ve all been there. And it felt right to share. Sometimes, even with our kids, the folks we love the most, the best thing is space. Space that acknowledges right now they just don’t want to hear it, and space that acknowledges right now, we just don’t want to say it.

I’m good. At 1230 I embraced the day. Just letting it unfold and doing less to impose myself on it and more to take the instructions it (and they) give me.

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4-7-8 BREATHING or ALL I CONTROL IS ME

We’re all trying to get better right now. It’s the new year. Whether you set resolutions formally or simply tried to reset and refresh coming out of the holidays or into a new year; we’re all trying to be at our best right now.

Being at our best usually means balancing:

1) What we consume

2) What we hold onto

3) What we release back into the world

At its simplest, that’s also what good breathing exercises embody. The air we take in, how long we hold it, and how long we expel it.

The 4-7-8 technique is money.

4 second inhale.

7 second hole.

8 second exhale.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324417?fbclid=IwAR3zSgnkbMXTDSfQBKj4z0G7cAtgIMy7596Xb6Gf2VnMUTas5kh20H4UZY8

You don’t need to pray. Or meditate. Change your pose or your position. You can do this anywhere without needing or making a scene.

I did this at dinner last night when the kids were all over the place as they made their way to dinner.

I’ve done it on Zoom calls at work.

You can do this anywhere, anytime.

And breathing, how we breathe, dictates how we process and respond to our environment. Breathing is like the baseline, the background music in our life. When it’s calm, the scene reflects and feels and creates space for calm. When it’s frenzied or hurried, well, you’ve set a backdrop and creates space for that vibe instead.

#iamgrateful and #iamthankful that once again, biology has equipped us with so much of what we need already to find a healthy way forward.

All I control, is me.

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